


Blood and Bone

by Pale_Blue_Dot



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gon is an adorable ray of sunshine, Hurt/Comfort, Killua Needs a Hug, M/M, Zoldyck Family Dynamics, except when he isn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-25 10:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22190854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pale_Blue_Dot/pseuds/Pale_Blue_Dot
Summary: Life on the run isn't so bad when you get to spend it with your baby sister. It's made even better when his best friend makes plans to join him. Killua is so happy he could almost forget about Illumi...but Illumi does not forget about him.
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 55
Kudos: 253





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm back at it again. I had one more story rolling around in my mind to share. This one is a bit more angsty than my last story so buckle-up folks! 
> 
> This story has been written in its entirety and I'll be posting it over the next few weeks.

Killua used an open palm to redirect the fist flying at his face. Taking advantage of his opponent’s momentum he stepped forward with an elbow up at the right level to smash in his attacker’s nose, before stopping suddenly. Instead, his arm whipped over a head full of dark hair sending it rustling before dropping around her neck to put the girl into a headlock. The second her back was to him she rocked her head back in an attempt to smash his nose. Killua deftly dodged, sticking the tip of a finger in his mouth and then straight into his opponent’s ear.

“Eeeauuugh” Alluka shrieked, pulling her shoulders up to knock her older brother’s finger out of her ear. 

“You’re disgusting! What the hell big brother.” She stepped out of his grip, which had become loose as he laughed at her flailing.

Alluka pouted fiercely, eyes narrowing at the boy who was supposed to be teaching her hand-to-hand combat. 

“Killua! You’re supposed to be taking this seriously.” She stomped her foot, kicking up reddish brown dust from the floor of their make-shift arena.  
Killua wiped tears of laughter from under his eyes, straightening with a mischievous smirk on his face.

“That was ten-out-of-ten the best Alluka-squeak I’ve gotten yet.”

“The goal isn’t to get me to squeak! It is to teach me to fight. What self-respecting Hunter gives someone a wet willy anyways?” Alluka demanded as she rubbed at her ear to erase the gross sensation.

Killua’s smirk faded and his eyes became serious and fond.

“That fight was already over Alluka. My elbow would’ve cracked your skull.” Blue eyes narrowed slightly and his smile ticked up at one corner. “The wet willy was punishment for that totally garbage punch you were trying to throw. What the heck was that anyways?”

“What do you mean garbage?” She pouted, finally dropping her hand from her ear to cross her arms over her chest.

“You threw your upper body forward and unbalanced yourself, instead of punching using power from the hip. I taught you better than that.” Killua gently admonished.  
Alluka let her arms drop with an existential sigh so loud and dramatic it could only be coming from a teenager.

“Your arms dropped a little. I was trying to get within your guard.”

“Well you did, but unfortunately for you I got in yours better.”

“Whatever. I’m tired, can we finally go eat now?” Alluka pulled out her ponytail, letting her hair fall back down in a curtain.

“Tell me you didn’t throw this fight on purpose because you’re hungry?” Killua asked, sounding vaguely annoyed for the first time.

“I did not!” She bristled at the accusation. “I don’t focus well when I’m hungry. We haven’t eaten anything since breakfast!” 

Killua blinked, surprised to realize she was right.

“I’m sorry Alluka, I totally forgot. I’m a bad big brother.” He said, tone far to serious for her tastes.

She reached out to grab his hand and pull him out of his revere. 

“You’re the best big brother.” She said, the last of her grouchiness leaving her voice. “You’ll be an even better one if you buy us dinner.”

Killua smiled fondly at his little sister.

“Anything you want. What are you feeling?”

“Hmmm” One delicate pointer finger tapped against her chin in thought.

“I want carbohydrates. Anything with carbs.” She declared, stomach growling in perfect punctuation.

“Pizza?” He asked, head tilting. 

“Hell yes!”

“Fine,” Killua said, dropping her hand and turned around so she could jump on his back. “But we’re getting two. I don’t want your gross everything toppings getting all over my half.”

Alluka jumped up, arms locking around his neck, chin resting on the arm thrown over his right shoulder.

“Mushrooms are great!” 

“I refuse to eat mushrooms, keep your nasty fungus away from me.” Killua shuddered dramatically, tongue poking out of his mouth as if tasting something disgusting. Alluka laughed, knocking her head lightly against her brothers. 

Alluka felt the air change, static raising the hair on her arms and tingling over her skin. She giggled at the sensation as it intensified and her brother’s white hair raised from his neck and took on a brilliant silver-white glow. She banged her heels against his thighs.

“Mush!”

Killua snorted, rolling his eyes, before taking off towards town. They were nothing but a blur of white light, long trailing dark hair, and the sound of a giggling girl who loved the speed and freedom of these runs just as much every time. 

*****

Two greasy pizzas later, Alluka and Killua lie on the dingy bed in their hotel room, the last of the evening light trickling in through the window.

“Why’d I eat that entire thing? I am never eating again.” She groaned resting a hand on her stomach.

“You say that, but when morning rolls around you’ll be shaking me out of bed for food for sure.” Alluka rolled her head over to give Killua a look.

“I only shake you out of bed because if I didn’t you’d be in there until noon.”

“Noon is a perfectly reasonable time to wake up.” Killua retorted primly, nose upturned.

Alluka rolled her eyes. “I also wouldn’t shake you out of bed if you got up the first time. You were raised an assassin, I don’t believe you sleep through me saying your name for half a second.”

Killua turned his head back to stare at the ceiling. It had been over three years since Alluka had become his world-travel partner, for the first two years of it, they avoided any mention of their family like the plague. Other than whispered mentions of Illumi, spoken quietly as if the word itself could summon him, they never talked about it. It was only within the past few months that Alluka seemed to be mentioning their childhood more and more, her blue eyes watching Killua’s face carefully for a reaction every time. Seeing way too much in every micro-expression that resulted. Killua couldn’t figure out what she was trying to glean from this, and he was too afraid to ask.

Alluka watched the profile of her brother’s face darken and his eyes grow distant. He was always like that at even the subtlest hint of their childhood and family. He would close-up and not say a word. She hated the weariness he seemed to take on when they talked about them, but she also hated the idea that he carried most of the burden of their family for them. As a child, all she knew was that they loved Killua and shunned her, but as she grew up, she couldn’t help but notice things, the long lines across Killua’s back that you could just barely see when they changed, the way he would forget to eat sometimes, his casual disregard of even serious injuries, and the way he mentioned in an off-hand matter when she inquired after his claws how they were developed through repeated breaking of bone. When she was younger, she just thought of these as her big brother being amazing and resilient as always, but more and more lately she couldn’t help but wonder how that resilience had been earned.

She sighed into the silence, eyes refocusing on Killua’s blue eyes, so much like her own, but somehow so much more tired, staring up at the ceiling lost in thought.  
Alluka leaned in close to him and blew into his ear.

Killed hissed, bristling like a cat.

Alluka cackled at his irritated expression and the scowl twisting his lips. “That’s what you get for earlier!”

“That was for training! I wasn’t even doing anything and you just blew straight into my ear!” 

“What goes around, comes around.” She chirped, delighting in her brother’s disgruntled expression.

Killua glared at her, tilting his head forward to give her a nasty look.

“Oh, it’ll come around alright.” He said ominously, before diving after her, fingers aiming for her vulnerable sides.

Alluka screeched as he tickled her, flailing so dramatically they both fell off the bed in a laughing pile.

“Now look what you did!” Alluka complained, trying to untangle them from her long dark hair before Killua couldn’t accidentally pull it getting up, but she was smiling. The lingering emptiness was banished from her brother’s eyes as if it had never been. 

*****

Gon sprinted through the woods, eyes locked on the upper right-hand corner of his phone screen. He weaved his way through the terrain easily, not looking away from his phone, brow furrowed as he concentrated on it. He burst through a copse of trees and into an open grassy field. Two tiny bars appeared on his phone.

“Yes!” He pumped his fist in the air, dialing the only number he knew by heart. 

“Hel-“

“KILLUAAAAA!” Gon shouted into his phone before Killua could even get the word out.

“GON! Stop yelling in my ear! We are using a phone for a reason, you don’t need to shout loud enough for me to hear you in person!” Killua yelled back into the phone, Gon could hear Alluka giggling in the background and smiled.

“I’m just excited to talk to you! I missed last week’s call when I was in the woods.”

“Killua should know better anyways, you yell into the phone every time.” Alluka laughed and Gon could hear the light puff of breath that was Killua huffing at them. He couldn’t help but widen his grin, was it weird to miss someone’s irritated noises as much as he missed Killua’s? 

“Alluka! How are you? How’s training? Have you kicked Killua’s butt yet?” Gon teased.

“As if she could beat me.”

“Hey!-“ Alluka interjected

“She’ll have to set a way lower bar first, like beating you.” Killua snarked.

“Hey!” Gon echoed Alluka’s complaint. “I have nen back and everything. I could definitely beat Killua in a fight now.”

“Not in your wildest dreams idiot.” 

“Killua” Gon complained, voice running through about seven different tones to create his signature whine. 

He heard a scuffling noise on the other end, and Killua’s voice farther away asking Alluka what she was doing.

“Gon, I turned on our video function! Can you turn on yours? You sound clearer than usual so I think you might have enough reception to do it.” 

“Yes! Let me just…” he trailed off.

“Um” Gon looked down blankly at his phone trying to remember which button was the video button.

“It’s on the bottom left dummy.” Came the dry tone of his best friend. Gon ignored his teasing and excitedly clicked what he thought was the correct button. Alluka and Killua’s faces appeared on his screen, the image was slightly grainy, but he’d recognize those blue eyes and that white hair anywhere.

“Killua! It’s you!” He couldn’t help but exclaim, wiggling slightly in excitement. 

“Who did you think you were talking to this whole time anyways? Of course it’s me!” 

“Be nice big brother, he’s just excited to see you.” Alluka admonished, shoulder checking him slightly.

“Yeah Killua, be nice to me.” Gon said teasingly, enjoying the chance to see the blush form on Killua’s cheeks. 

“Don’t you both gang up on me.”

“Let’s gang up on him, he could never defeat us together.” Alluka winked at Gon.

“Hey!” Killua whipped his head around to glare at his sister. “I can and will give you another wet willy.” 

Alluka gasped. “I can and will send Gon every picture I’ve taken of your hilarious bed head since you started growing your hair out last year.” 

Gon perked up at Alluka’s threat.

“Yes please!”

“Absolutely not!” Killua bitched.

“Aw Killua please?”

“Hell no!” Killua retorted abruptly, shaking his head so violently said longer hair temporarily covered his face. “Alluka, when did you become so ruthless anyways? What happened to my adorable baby sister?” He said, hand flat on his chest like an offended old lady clutching at her pearls. 

“I learned from the best.” She said in a saccharine tone as Gon burst out laughing again. He was smiling so wide it hurt his cheeks. He wished he were there, he wished he could be there to wrestle Killua and tease him in person with Alluka. His laughter faded at the more somber thought and he looked at the screen again.  


Killua was looking at him with one of his small genuine smiles pulling at his lips and just barely crinkling the skin by his brilliant blue eyes, the skin of his cheeks had the softest pink color, the last vestiges of a blush. Gon felt like his heart stumbled through a beat in his chest. He loved Killua. He’d known it since he was twelve years old, but somehow in moments like this it still hit him like a punch to the gut, enough to steal the air out of his lungs. He clicked the one button he remembered on the screen and heard the shutter go off.

“Gon, did you just take a picture of our chat?” Killua demanded, soft look vanishing for a more pointed classic Killua expression. His eyes were slightly narrowed. He looked fierce and beautiful. Gon took another screen shot.

“Hey! You just took another! Stop.” Gon laughed. 

“I can’t help it. Killua looks so cute.” The blush that had been fading from pale cheeks came rushing back with a vengeance.

“S-shut up.” Killua’s voice broke slightly.

Alluka started laughing and doubled over out of view of the camera, but she could still be heard laughing so hard it sounded like she was having trouble breathing. 

“That’s it. I’m turning off video!” Killua hissed.

“No!” Gon heard his shout echoed by Alluka off screen who apparently caught her breath well enough to knock the phone out of Killua’s hands. The phone tumbled to the bed and he caught a brief glimpse of elbows, hands, and hair as the two mock-wrestled for a moment before Alluka’s laughing face appeared back on the screen straightening the phone to include both of their faces.

“I miss you so much.” Gon couldn’t help the admission, too honest and raw. 

Killua went quiet, eyes shifting to focus on the ugly hotel bedspread. Alluka looked over at him and Killua looked at up at her, sensing her gaze. A wordless conversation passed between them. Gon felt a brief stab of envy- he used to be the only person Killua could have non-verbal conversations with like this- before abruptly stifling the emotion. It was unfair to keep Killua all to himself, Killua deserved people who loved him, and how could anyone not?

“You don’t have to.” Killua said softly, snapping Gon out of his revere.

“W-what?” He said, taken aback. Nervous to get his hopes up if he was hearing Killua wrong.

“You don’t have to miss us, if you want to come travel with us.” Killua said, more firmly this time. Out of the corner of his eye, Gon could see Alluka smiling fondly at Killua. She reached up and flicked a lock of white hair out of his face. Gon wanted nothing more than to be able to run his fingers through that fluffy white hair too. Was it just as soft as he remembered? 

“I would love that… I would love it.” Gon felt his tone was too serious for the conversation, his voice too deep. It almost sounded like he was on the edge of tears, something blocking up his throat.

They made plans that night of where and when they would meet. They talked until Gon’s phone died. Afterwards he squeezed his phone to his chest like he could hug them through it, heart beating like a hummingbird. Too excited to sleep, he ran through the night, excited to get to a city and start making his way to his best friend. Just two weeks. Two weeks and he would be with Killua again. 

*****

Alluka rolled over on her back and looked over at her older brother. He was still staring at the dark phone with a distant look in his eyes, the barest hint of a smile on his mouth. Alluka felt an answering one tug at her lips. She couldn’t help but smile when her big brother was happy. 

“Hey Killua?” She said sweetly, smile morphing into something a bit more devious. 

“Hmmm?” He responded absentmindedly, as he turned to face her with his hand under his chin.

“Gon sure says you’re cute a lot doesn’t he?”

Killua’s face flushed bright red.

“Shut up!” He snapped.

“S-shut up.” Alluka said, mimicking his voice crack from earlier. 

Killua dove for her and put her in a headlock as she cackled, laughing too hard to bother trying to pry his arm off.

“Nanika wouldn’t do this to me you know. She’s my new favorite!” Killua declared while mock choking his sister. 

“I love Killua.” The girl in his arms said, voice suddenly slightly raspy and childish.

Killua loosened his grip immediately and wrapped his arms around her waist instead, hugging her. 

“I love you too Nanika.” Pale fingers threaded through her hair, gently working out tangles they’d made while wrestling. Nanika hummed in pleasure and wriggled a bit like a happy puppy. Killua dropped his arms and turned to face her.

“How are you today Nanika?”

The dark curve of her mouth was turned upwards in a smile, black eyes crinkled happily at the corners. She just hummed contentedly in answer. “Killua, comb my hair?” 

“Of course Nanika.” 

Killua got up from the bed to dig her brush out of her duffle along with a few clips and ponytails, then hopped back on the bed, smiling when Nanika giggled at the bouncing. He sat cross-legged behind her and began to gently work the tangles out of her hair, starting from the bottom and working his way up, just like Alluka normally did. They worked in relative silence, only Nanika’s quietly happy noises and the soft sound of the brush audible. 

After working the tangles out he started to braid it, Alluka’s preferred hair style to stop it from tangling while she slept. Once he’d finished Nanika turned around.  


“I want to do! Killua turn.” She insisted, making grabby hands at the brush. Killua smiled indulgently.

“Okay. Are you going to make me pretty?” He asked teasingly.

“Killua pretty!” Nanika exclaimed. He laughed and turned around letting her play with his hair.

Though Alluka had grown-up over the years, Nanika remained childish. Everything from her voice to her demeanor seemed suspended in time leaving her with speech capabilities somewhere around that of a toddler. She combed his hair before clumsily gathering it in bunches and adding ponytails, giggling at the mess she was making.

He felt some quality of the room shift imperceptibly. He could never put his finger on it, but somehow he could feel when Nanika and Alluka shifted back and forth. The hands in his hair paused.

“Oh wow, that is a look.” The clearer voice of Alluka cut through the silence. 

Killua twisted at the waist to face her, tilted his head towards her and raised his eyebrows.

“Well? Am I pretty? Nanika said she was going to make me pretty.” He deadpanned.

Alluka laughed.

“Of course you’re pretty! Gon and I both always think you’re pretty.” She teased. A faint pink blush, an echo from earlier, colored his cheeks.

“Don’t you start again.” He sighed in exasperation.

“Alright, alright.” She acquiesced, reaching up to pull out the pigtails Nanika had tried to put in Killua’s hair. It wasn’t quite long enough, so pieces were falling out of each side and wild white curls were sticking out comically. It really was quite the look. 

“Can I try again with Nanika today?” Alluka asked as she worked, picking tangles out of her brother’s hair. Killua was silent for a moment.

“It makes her so tired though. She just woke up yesterday from last time.” Killua said equivocating. 

Alluka didn’t answer, just picked up the brush and continued to fix the mess Nanika had made in her brother’s hair.

“It isn’t up to me though.” He said sighing. “Whatever you and Nanika want.”

Alluka paused, frowning. “We’re a team Killua, you do have a say. I know it makes us more vulnerable.”

“I can protect you no matter what.” He said firmly, half turning again so she could catch his profile. “If you want to do it. I trust your judgement.”

Alluka couldn’t help but half smile at that.

“Okay. What do you think I should wish for?”  
Killua turned forward again and Alluka resumed combing while he thought. 

“Something small. For whatever reason you both seem to get so much more tired when you make the commands.” Alluka nodded thoughtfully.

“Maybe a minor healing wish?”

“Hmmm, that exhausts you though even when you aren’t the one making the wish.” He pointed out, not disagreeing, but making sure she had considered everything.  
“Yes, but I want to try scaling up from what we have been doing, and I’d rather do it now so we are both awake and ready when we meet up with Gon.” 

Killua nodded, slumping to rest his chin in his hand.

“We passed an animal hospital on our way here. We could break in tonight?” 

Alluka smiled. Perfect.

“You just happened to notice the animal hospital did you?” She arched a skeptical brow.

“Shut up. I didn’t have any intentions. I just noticed it.” He retorted, straightening to cross his arms over his chest.

“You’re like that one dessert we had last week with the vanilla.”

“Crème brule?” He asked baffled. “What does that even mean?”

“Hard outside, warm soft center.” She clarified, poking at his stomach with a finger he deftly dodged. 

“Take it back!” He grouched.

Alluka laughed.

*****

Milluki popped the earbud out of his ear in disgust. Killua was truly losing it. He was an embarrassment to their entire family and he couldn’t fathom why Illumi wanted so badly to have him or that thing he cared for back. 

He snorted, wheeling back in his chair and standing-up. His back cracked as he stood, sore from sitting all day. 

On the bright side, he was finally done listening in on that spikey-haired idiots droll phone conversations. He couldn’t tap Killua’s phone, but his idiot friend was another story, blithely clicking on any link sent his way. All the better for him he supposed, he finally knew exactly where Killua was going to be. He just needed to get the address to Illumi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a bunch of cuties! They seem so happy.
> 
> It would be a shame...
> 
> If something were to happen to them.
> 
> O___O 
> 
> Leave me a comment! They feed the monster.


	2. Don't Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illumi loves his baby brother.

Illumi hadn’t spent all his time looking for his little brother. He took jobs, brought in money and prestige to the family. He was exactly what a Zoldyck should be, but he did not let go, and he did not forget. Somewhere out there, Killua protected that thing. He kept it close to him, as if he loved it more than his own brother and Illumi could not abide by it. Killua belonged to him.

He could remember when Killua was born, nothing but a tuft of white hair squirming in a bundle of blankets. He could remember Mother trying to hand him off to a butler, but Illumi reached for him instead. He remembers the precise moment those brilliant blue eyes locked on his, one small hand, with almost impossibly tiny fingers reaching up to grasp a lock of his hair. 

Illumi knew that he was a creature of blood and bone, incapable of happiness, but for a moment then, he almost thought he could feel it, beating delicate wings against the cage of his rib bones. Certainly, this feeling would fade. Certainly, this thing would disappoint him. Certainly, he would tire of it…

But he never did.

Mother and Father were responsible for Illumi’s training as a child, but they let him take on the bulk of the work with Killua. Illumi pushed him hard, feeding him poison at a younger age than he had been given it, pushing his torture training past where Illumi’s had ended, incorporating new elements and new games to test his baby brother. Illumi was determined to shape him into something fearsome and beautiful. He knew Killua could do it, and he loved him enough to want Killua to be better than anyone, better than himself even… and he was. 

If his baby brother had one flaw, it was that he was slow to violence. He was reluctant to kill unless directly ordered and Illumi wasn’t sure why. Did he not know that he was built for such a thing? That he should delight in it? Killua with his brilliant tactical mind, his tapered claws, and his lightning fast reflexes. Killua was born a predator, ruthlessness should be in his nature, yet Illumi caught him trying to make friends with Canary and feeding rabbits. 

He poisoned that food, and collected the limp bodies of each rabbit, decorating Killua’s bed with their ruined bodies. Killua didn’t speak for a week after that, eyes blank, but he was a smart boy and he never fed rabbits again. 

The final straw came before that thing that Killua insisted was their younger sister was locked away for good. In fact, it was the final impetus for it. Kalluto had just begun his torture training, but unsurprisingly he was not handling it well unlike Killua. He was throwing up and crying and begging and generally making a nuisance of himself. His irritating noises could be heard all over the manor. Killua marched up to their father and demanded he stop Kalluto’s training.

Illumi was vaguely impressed with his spine, standing up to their much more powerful father like that. He absently noted that he’d have to take care of that sort of attitude soon. He couldn’t have Killu running off to fight people stronger than him, that would get him in to trouble one day and Illumi was determined to keep his little brother safe. 

Then Killua did something he did not expect. He set a conditioned wish on Nanika, forbidding torture training on Kalluto and Alluka, lest it be reflected back on them.  
It was brilliant, an idea from a budding tactical mind, but this could not be permitted. 

Alluka was locked away and Killua was forbidden from contacting it. 

That didn’t stop him from trying of course, at least not in the beginning. Even when Illumi’s punishments for catching him grew more and more severe, just barely short of permanent damage. Killua seemed to take this as a challenge, getting craftier in his attempts. He almost got by Illumi more than once, if he didn’t have to punish him for it, Illumi might have rewarded his sneakiness and the way he unknowingly fell into zetsu. Unfortunately, Illumi was responsible for punishing him. He did not delight in it, but he’d do anything for Killua, to make him better. 

He loved his baby brother after all.

*****

The hot sun beamed down on the boardwalk, amplifying the heat of an already warm day. Alluka adjusted her sun hat to better shade her eyes from the warm afternoon sun. She let her feet dangle in the cool water, swinging lazily. She still hadn’t fully recovered from wishing on Nanika, though it had been days at this point. The sweltering heat somehow amplified her exhaustion, tugging on her eyelids and making her head nod.

A familiar figure sat next to her and an ice cream cone materialized in front of her face. 

“Got your gross raspberry sorbet!”

Alluka smiled, taking the cone from her big brother.

“It isn’t gross! There are flavors other than chocolate out there you know.” Killua huffed.

“I know that.”

Alluka glanced at him sideways in disbelief. 

“I do!” Killua insisted, adjusting his own hat so the brim wouldn’t catch on Alluka’s. He brandished his ice cream like a weapon and waved it under her nose.

“This is clearly cherry-chocolate. I am a man of varied tastes.” He said primly.

Alluka bent forward and stole a lick.

“Hey!”

“You’re right. It is pretty good.” She snickered and Killua’s pouting face. His ice cream now held protectively in front of him with two hands. 

“Keep your tongue to yourself, fiend.” He retorted.

Alluka responded by wagging her tongue at him before digging into her sorbet. She hummed in pleasure at the cool feeling of it melting in her mouth. The hot day suddenly ten times more enjoyable. 

“Do you think Gon will get here early too?” She asked idly after a period of silence that only genuinely great ice cream can command. 

“Dunno” Killua responded intelligently, too busy licking up dripping bits of ice cream before they could run off the cone and onto his hand to really listen to her. She regarded him slyly.

“How many minutes do you think it’ll be between meeting up and Gon trying to kiss you?”

Killua jolted out of his revere suddenly enough that a glop of ice cream melted down the side of the cone and ran across his fingers.

“Damn it Alluka!” He cursed, licking the stray ice cream off his hand.

She threw her head back laughing at his flustered expression. Big brother was way too easy to tease.

“You spend way too much time talking to Gon.” Killua complained having fixed his ice cream situation while she laughed at him. 

“Well, I can promise that will only get worse soon.” She chirped.

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved her off before he talked himself into a hole. 

He pulled his shoes and socks off, dropping his feet in next to hers, splashing a bit of water up her leg.

“Hey!” She splashed him back. 

Killua cocked an eyebrow at her, “are you sure you want to start this fight?”

Alluka looked down at her nice white dress and sighed.

“Whatever.”

She scooted closer and leaned her head on his shoulder as the sun began disappearing on the horizon, admiring the view. Killua finished up the last melty bites of his cone and dropped his head to rest on hers.

“I know I tease you a lot, but in seriousness, are you going to talk to Gon about how you feel when you meet up?” She asked softly.

“I… I don’t know.” Killua admitted. “I guess I just don’t want to ruin anything if he doesn’t feel that way.”

Alluka couldn’t help but roll her eyes. Honestly.

“Gon’s feelings are nothing but clear Killua. How many times does he need to tell you he loves you for the message to sink in?” He didn’t answer. Alluka, surprised by the lack of response sat up to look at him. He was looking down, the brim of his hat obscuring his expression, legs still slowly churning the water.

“I don’t know if he means it like that Alluka.”

“He does! He wouldn’t tell you you’re pretty ten times per phone call if he wasn’t attracted to you too.” She insisted, feeling a bit exasperated with her big brother’s low self-esteem. 

“You don’t know him as well as I do Alluka, he’s just like that sometimes.”

“But-“

“Besides” he interrupted, “What if he does love me like that? It didn’t stop him from doing what he did. It didn’t stop him from going to face her alone, from going off to die without me, so what does that even mean?” 

Alluka looked at him mouth slightly agape. She’d heard the ballad of Pitou and Gon before of course, but never like this, never with Killua discussing how he felt about it. She hated the agony in his voice, hated to hear him suffer. She placed a hand delicately over the back of his, thinking quietly about what he said.

“He’s grown-up now big brother. If anything could have taught him his lesson, it would’ve been that.” She said resolutely. 

Killua gave a non-committal hum in response, tension still evident in the line of his shoulders. 

“Anyways, I have like, a really good shovel-talk planned, so I am sure it won’t be an issue.” 

That snapped him out of it. Wide blue eyes made contact with her own. 

“Alluka! You better not.” 

“It’s my duty as your sister!” She giggled. 

“I’m YOUR older brother!” Killua said insistently shaking his head.

“Yeah, but I’m WAY more mature.” She countered.

“As if! You still own footy pajamas!” He snapped. She scowled at him.

“They’re comfortable! Besides, you own some too!”

“Because you bought them for me!”

“You wore them!”

“Pictures or it didn’t happen.” He said poking the tip of her nose, eyes sparkling with mischief. Alluka fake snapped her teeth at the finger on her nose and Killua reached back to tug her ponytail lightly.

“Hey! Hair pulling is off limits.” She pouted, arms crossing.

Killua rolled his eyes and ran his fingers gently through her long ponytail. 

“Yeah, yeah.”

He stood stretching for a moment before slipping on his shoes and socks.

“We should be getting back. It’s getting dark.” He extended a hand to her to help her up, holding her arm for support as Alluka slipped both of her sandals back on. Once she’d wiggled them back on she moved her hand to the crook of his elbow as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. She took a deep breath, appreciating the salty sea air as they took the long way back, following the coast.

She looked out over the ocean, admiring the brilliant line of red just along the horizon. The last vestiges, of a gorgeous sunset. 

Killua stopped suddenly as if he’d turned to stone. Alluka, startled at the jarring stop.

“What…” She trailed off. Normally vivid blue eyes looked flat, his mouth in a harsh line across his face. Her heart froze in her chest. She hadn’t seen that face often, but she knew just who it was reserved for.

“Kalluto.” Killua said softly as a whisper.

“Kalluto?” Alluka repeated confused. Not that it was good if any of their family found them, but that face was generally reserved for Illumi.

Killua turned to face her, expression grim. 

“I can sense his aura. Kalluto is in danger.” This did nothing to relieve Alluka’s confusion. 

“But why here? Why would Kalluto be here?”

“It’s a trap of course.” Killua said almost calmly, but his face didn’t fool her. Alluka could read the hurricane of emotions behind that flat expression. Then it all clicked into place.

“Illumi is trying to lure you.” She said suddenly, eyes widening in fear. Killua nodded slightly, confirming her fear.

“Don’t go.” She grabbed his other arm and wheeled him around to face her straight on. “Don’t go.” She repeated.

Killua didn’t argue, he simply said “Trap or no, he’ll let Kalluto die for it.” And there it was, all laid out on the table. ‘Don’t go’ she wanted to say again, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. She couldn’t bring herself to ask Killua not to go for him. Who would they be, if they let Illumi get Kalluto killed for them? 

She let her hands slide slowly down his arms until she reached his hands, grasping them tightly. ‘Don’t go’, the words beat against the inside of her chest.

“Come back.” She said instead eyes closing against the moisture welling in them.

He used their intertwined hands to pull her into his chest. His arms locked around her, hugging her almost too tightly. Her chin hooked over his shoulder. 

“I will.” He promised, fire in his voice. Squeezing one last time before letting her go.

“Go to the hotel. Stay in zetsu.” He said firmly, resting his forehead against hers. She felt his aura flare, crackling to life around him. Their eyes met, hers their familiar shade of blue, his a brilliant luminescent cerulean color as if lit from within. 

‘Don’t go.’ The words stayed trapped in her mouth.

“Okay.” She said instead.

Killua dropped her arms and sped off towards their younger brother, trailing light like a comet. 

“Don’t go.” Alluka whispered with her face in her hands, already miles too far behind for her big brother to hear her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun Dun Dun!
> 
> Enter another Zoldyck! 
> 
> Hot take, I think Illumi really does love Killua, but his experiences growing up have twisted that into something possessive and covetous. I have the ambitious goal of trying to make you feel at least a little bad for him by the end of this story. Think I can do it? Lol


	3. Family Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kalluto never knew how to feel about Killua.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll ready for some Zoldyck family dynamics? They're like the assassin's answer to the Brady Bunch.

Kalluto has never known how to feel about Killua. When he was younger, he knew that his torture training stopped because of him. At first, he was just relieved not to be in pain anymore, but then Mother had told him how he was stunted because of it. She told him how he could’ve been strong like Killua, but he had been deprived that chance. Over the years, that thought took root in his heart and grew, spreading vines and thorns throughout his chest, an idea that could not be removed without taking some of his flesh and worse, his worldview with it. It was easy to dislike him for preferring Alluka to his actual family, it was easy to resent the way he was chosen as the heir before Kalluto could even be a contender, it was easy to be jealous of the way Illumi cared for and protected him, so he was. 

As he got older though, a small part of him began to see more and more why he left. Kalluto used to find the skirts of Mother comforting, but now they seemed suffocating. He began to resent Father and Mother more for choosing Killua as the heir rather than Killua himself, as it seemed plainly that Killua wanted nothing to do with it, but old habits were hard to break. 

Still, this might be the final straw. Kalluto thought to himself as his three opponents closed in. The same little birdy must’ve told these ambitious upstarts where he would be, where he was ordered to be for his unspecified mission from Illumi. It seemed the phantom troupe held appeal for a variety of powerful people, and there was only one way to make an open slot for yourself of course. 

Kalluto tilted his head to the side and heard a razor thin throwing knife whistle past his ear. He turned drawing his fan and sweeping it upward in a single motion, redirecting the knives and sending them pinwheeling impotently through the air.

It was a mistake.

A blonde woman with chin-length hair and dark eyes smiled at him, throwing her arms up. Kalluto jumped back, not knowing her ability, but not dumb enough to find out at close range.

He slammed into something solid behind him hard enough to knock the breath out of him, momentarily stunning him.

Tiny lights dotted his vision at the force of impact, he had no idea what he’d hit, there had been nothing behind him but open sand, but he had more pressing matters to deal with. He could see more knives headed his way, he swept his fan again and they flew up into the air.

Kalluto gasped as a knife embedded itself in his chest, glancing off a rib bone and another sliced into the flesh of his arm.

How-!?

Kalluto’s eyes widened as the knives seemingly dissolved into thin air. Some of the knives were made of pure nen, disguised among the regular metal ones.

Damn. 

He risked a look behind him to see what he’d run in to, but there was nothing. Rather than risk it again he abruptly changed courses running up the beach for the cover of the nearby jungle only to be stopped again as if by a solid brick wall. In darkness it was hard to tell, but he thought he could see the faintest shimmer in front of him.

Some sort of nen barrier? 

He threw his paper and swung his fan as hard as he could, the paper glanced uselessly off the barrier. 

He was trapped. Like a bug in glass.

Kalluto threw himself to the side, sensing more knives coming his way and sprinted at the blonde woman. If he couldn’t bring the barrier down, he’d bring her down. He threw his paper up again, moving his fan in a graceful arc sending the pieces flying at her like darts. They stopped harmlessly about a foot in front of and fell to the ground.

A secondary barrier. Double damn. 

He continued his trajectory flipping over her, running towards the back of the barrier looking for a weakness, the third person was a heavy-set man, his eyes closed in concentration. There almost seemed to be something like smoke rising from his skin. Kalluto gave him a wide berth as he hurtled to the back of the barrier, evident by the slight shimmer he noticed earlier.

He threw a leg out hitting it as hard as he could with his heel.

Nothing.

He whipped around. The blonde woman laughed at his attempt, hands in her pockets as if she couldn’t be bothered. The man with the nen knives darted around her, ready for another throw.

“Thunderbolt!”

Lightning stuck the top of the dome and arched down the sides, shaking but not shattering it. 

He appeared suddenly as if he had traveled there on the bolt itself. Limned in silver light, hair raised jagged and wild from his head, white lightning arcing around him in random bursts. He was giving off light like he was made of a storm himself. 

Killua.

The blonde woman, who had been knocked briefly to her knees by the blast, regained her footing and turned to face him.

“This doesn’t concern you.” She snarled, “And it’ll take more than that to-“

Killua raised both arms to the sky, his aura crackling dangerously, the previously small quiescent clouds above them churned ominously. The hair on Kalluto’s neck rose, his body felt like a livewire as if he was conducting electricity himself. The air around them seemed to whistle like a building screech. 

“Raijin!” 

Kalluto wasn’t even sure what happened, he was lying on his back dizzy, whether his eyes were opened or closed all he could see was white lines branching through his vision, blocking out all else with brilliant afterimages like phosphenes. 

Then the thunder sounded around them rumbling like the growl of some enormous beast, reverberating through him like the voice of an angry God. 

Kalluto pushed himself to stand wobbling and off-balance from sensory overload. He fell over again briefly, catching himself on his hands on something sharp. Parts of the sand had turned to glass under the heat. Killua had done this? He was only seventeen, just a few years older than Kalluto himself, but Kalluto could not imagine doing anything like this. 

Through his still sparking vision Kalluto saw a flash of light he assumed to be Killua pull up behind the man with the knives and knock the edge of his hand against the back of his neck in a move almost too fast to follow. He dropped limply to the ground.

Killua was using non-lethal methods now? Seriously? Kalluto couldn’t help but internally grumble. 

Killua might be stronger than Kalluto could currently comprehend, but assassin material he was clearly not. 

He moved passed the fallen man smoothly as if flying and charged at the woman who’d created the barrier, unfortunately, her secondary barrier remained in-tact. She flipped back from the attack towards the heavy-set man and brought him within her barrier. She stumbled slightly on the landing, clearly affected by the previous attack, but threw her arms up anyways, reinstating the second barrier. 

“Now!” She hissed at her compatriot. 

He raised his arms and put his hands to lay flat against their inner protective barrier. Again, something like smoke began to seep from his hands and tumble to the sandy bottom of their enclosure. 

“It’s poison.” The man declared almost cheerfully in a high-raspy voice. His mouth split his face in a manic smile as he began to fill the secondary bubble. Hmm, another transmuter it seemed. 

Killua tilted his head up slightly, scenting the air.

“Odorless and tasteless, heavier than the surrounding air. I think it’s sarin-based.” He said quietly, “We should be immune.”

Kalluto looked over at his brother who had come to stand next to him. This was the closest they’d been in years. He could feel the slightly numb-tingling feeling of Killua’s aura brushing up against his.

“Great. Cool. How about we hit them with another lightning bolt and never find out for sure?” 

Killua lips quirked up in a wry smile. 

Killua smiled now? Kalluto hadn’t seen that before either. 

“We’re cut off from the clouds by her secondary barrier. Also, it takes an enormous amount of nen to generate a blast like that. There wasn’t exactly a storm brewing up there.”

Shit. It was a one-and-done move and now Killua had gone and gotten himself trapped with Kalluto. Why? Why would he risk his life? They hadn’t even spoken in years. He had worked with Illumi to try to drag Killua back to a place he hated. Another thought occurred to him suddenly; how had Illumi known he’d do it? 

“An attack like that… it’s a one-shot move isn’t it kid?” The blonde woman sneered, “Or you’d just be using it again.”

Killua turned to face her, seemingly unbothered by their predicament. 

“Your friend here will die you know. The gas won’t affect us, but I’m sure it will kill him easily.” He said matter-of-factly, voice just loud enough to be heard across the distance. The man Killua had knocked out earlier remained unresponsive on the sand, trapped within the bubble, same as them. 

“There’s only one open spot in the phantom troupe. We all knew that coming here.” She responded coldly.

The heavy gas filled the bottom of the dome and curled up around the edges, rising slowly around them. 

Killua disappeared from his side and seemingly reappeared by the secondary barrier hitting it with a fist full of lightning before the woman even had time to blink. He was too fast for her eyes to track, but she didn’t have to keep up with him, she just had to keep him out. 

The barrier shuddered, but it didn’t fall. Killua repeatedly attached the same spot tiny cracks forming and healing with each strike.

“I can keep this up all night!” She growled, teeth bared in a sneer, but Kalluto noticed drops of sweat begin to appear at her brow. It was a bluff.

Killua ignored her. He continued to hit the barrier again and again in precisely the same spot, it was a matter of time.

Kalluto’s fan dropped suddenly from his fingers. He looked down in shock. He couldn’t feel them. It seemed they wouldn’t have time. 

“Killua.” He said quietly, but he was heard anyways. Killua paused and turned luminous blue eyes to look at him. His eyes darted from Kalluto’s limp hand to the fan resting on the ground.

“Damn.” He cursed softly.

The heavy-set man’s fearful look vanished, a smile taking its place, lent a manic edge from relief. Smoke poured out of his fingers even faster as he laughed.

“What now boy?” The woman sneered, relief evident on her face as well. “Looks like your friend isn’t quite as immune as you’d think.”

“Brother.” He said suddenly.

“What?” 

“He’s my little brother actually. A Zoldyck.” Killua smiled at them again, but it had an edge that could cut like glass. “And a lot tougher than you’d think.” He mimicked her earlier inflection.

She snarled at him wordlessly, thrown off by his nonchalance. 

“Did you know,” Killua continued on, heedless of her anger “that sarin gas is combustible?”

Her face paled.

Killua was in front of them, then he was in front of Kalluto in the blink of an eye. He wrapped an arm around his little brother’s waist and flung them into the air, as high as the secondary barrier would allow.

Kalluto felt the hair on his neck prickle back to life. Again he felt he could almost hear Killua’s body charging like a scream.

“Thunderbolt!”

A bolt of lightning shot from his hand and struck the roiling mist below them.

It ignited. 

He felt a shockwave of heat move through the air, temporarily slamming them up against the top of the outer barrier before it shattered and sent them flying. Kalluto felt arms wrap around his head to cushion it as they hit the sand in a graceless heap sliding and rolling across it before eventually skidding to a stop. 

Ow. 

Kalluto groaned quietly, trying to turn over. One of Killua’s arms slipped off the top of his head. A burning smell lingered in the air.

“I think your hair is kinda on fire.” Killua said coughing. 

Kalluto jerked, rolling off Killua’s other arm and dropping onto the sand to stop some of the bottom strands of his hair from smoking.

“Your fault.” He said hoarsely. Sitting up and trying to block out the ringing in his ears. He’d been blown up enough in the past few minutes to give him tinnitus to last a lifetime. 

Killua sat up next to him. Kalluto watched as his aura faded, his hair falling back down and his silver glow fading into the normal porcelain shade of his skin. 

Illumi picked those people perfectly, Kalluto thought as the adrenaline faded. They were enemies that had ways of negating the advantage of speed, abilities complimenting one another’s. Killua had to use just about everything to get him out of there. Everything according to plan. Kalluto closed his eyes as a war waged beneath his sternum.

“It’s a trap.” He said quietly, cursing himself all the while for being too soft.

Killua turned to look at him making full eye contact for the first time in a long time. Though the luminescent quality faded, his eyes were as bright blue as ever, just like Father’s. Just like with Father’s gaze, Kalluto felt stripped bare before him, like Killua was looking into him. 

Kalluto could only imagine he found him wanting. Every other member of the family seemed to think so. Too weak to impress Mother, too obedient to impress Father, not clever enough to impress Grandfather, not ruthless enough to impress Illumi. 

Not enough. 

Kalluto broke eye contact first. Looking blankly down at the sand. 

“I know.”

Kalluto looked up again startled.

“Then why-“

“Trap or no, Illumi would have let you die for it.” Killua said simply and softly. As if that was an answer. As if it was natural for Killua to come save him despite the fact there had been nothing but quiet hostility between them before now. As if his life mattered, just in-and-of itself. 

Kalluto said nothing, his eyes dropped back to the sand. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Killua look up. Kalluto followed his gaze.

Illumi.

He walked silently out of the forest, long dark hair waving gently from the breeze coming off the ocean. He looked like a spectre with his dark doll eyes and translucent pale skin. He walked towards them as slowly and inexorably as death.

Why rush? Kalluto thought, he had Killua just where he wanted him.

Killua pushed himself to stand, feet sinking slightly into the sand. 

“Illumi.” He said flatly. 

Kalluto couldn’t tell if it was a greeting or a curse.

Illumi tilted his head slightly, dark eyes as flat and void as ever. Kalluto saw the slightest tremor run down Killua’s leg next to him.

Was it exhaustion? Adrenaline? Fear? Kalluto didn’t know Killua well enough to tell, but he did know that Godspeed would not save him now. He didn’t have enough nen left. Illumi had made certain of it. 

If you couldn’t catch it with pursuit, trap it. Let they prey exhaust and injure itself struggling, then claim it. Killua may have been chosen as heir, but Illumi had always been the better predator. 

“Ah Killu, calling me by my name? You used to call me big brother.” Illumi said, somehow teasing despite his near inflectionless voice. 

“I’m not sure of our relationship anymore.” Killua said angrily. “Apparently my little sister isn’t part of your family, so I’m not sure where that leaves us.” They were words that cut sharper than claws.

Kalluto couldn’t help the hitch in his breath. Was Killua insane? Baiting Illumi now?

The slightest of frowns crossed Illumi’s normally expressionless face.

“So mean to your big brother Killu.” He said, crossing his arms with his fists clenched over either side of his chest like an entombed pharaoh. The glimmer of needles sticking out from between each knuckle just barely visible in the moonlight. 

*****

The first thing he registered was the cold. 

He must’ve been somewhere cold for a long time because it wasn’t just his skin, he could feel the chill like frost in his marrow. 

The second thing he registered was silence.

Killua could hear nothing but the sound of his own quiet breaths, and the muted thump of his own heart.

Killua opened his eyes, but he saw nothing but darkness.

The floor beneath him was cold and smooth like polished stone.

He could see nothing, he could hear nothing, but it didn’t matter. He would know this place anywhere. He’d been here several years ago and every night when he closed his eyes.

Home sweet home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END.
> 
> Just kidding! :) New chapter out soon with Gon and Alluka. Drop me a comment if you're liking it so far.


	4. Predator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua had told Alluka that Gon could have a terrifying temper, and it wasn’t like Alluka didn’t believe him- of course she did - but she couldn’t conceptualize it. She had only ever known Gon who laughed and teased and seemed to give off good natured vibes like sunlight. It was a little like being told what a tsunami is as you sat on a beautiful sun-warmed beach. Until you had seen one bear down upon you cold, merciless, and inevitable, you just couldn’t imagine such a thing happening there.

Alluka sat motionless on the bed spread, her hands folded neatly in her lap. The sounds of people talking, of laughter, had long stopped drifting in through the open window. Now she could hear nothing but the ticking of the analogue clock that hung neatly on the opposite side of the room.

It was deafening.

She refused to look at the clock, to mark how long it had been since Killua said he’d be back, but it was pointless. The ticking of the second-hand was so loud she felt as if she could calculate the time by just remembering each one as if it ticked against her skull.

Her hands tightened, bunching the fabric of her white dress. A gentle breeze came through the window, ruffling her hair. She had left it open for Killua. Alluka had their only key card, so he wouldn’t be able to come in through the front hotel entrance.

A pointless consideration. Killua wasn’t coming back.

She gave in and looked up at the clock, it was just past three in the morning.

Alluka stood suddenly and strode over to the open window slamming it shut with more force than necessary.

Her breath stuttered in her chest and she could feel tears forming in her eyes and clogging her throat. What if Killua was too hurt to make it back? What if he had been taken by Illumi? What if Illumi was coming for her now as she stood stupidly in front of the window in easy range to be sniped? She could feel panic welling up, threatening to choke her.

No.

Alluka shook her head. No, she thought again. Killua had taught her better than this. Panic is pointless. Pick yourself up and figure it out.

She backed away from the window and settled in the back of the room trying to work out a plan. Nanika was still exhausted, she wasn’t sure if she could wake her at all currently, let alone make a wish with an unknown cost. What good would it do anyways? If she wished Killua back he could be too injured to move. They’d be sitting ducks if Illumi came for them and she was certain he would. He had tracked them to this city somehow. It was unlikely he knew their hotel room, but it wouldn’t take someone like Illumi long to sniff them out in a small seaside town.

She chewed on her thumbnail considering.

She needed allies. She couldn’t count on Nanika alone to magic them out of this mess, there were too many loopholes, too many potential problems, and there was no telling when Nanika would wake up from her current wish-induced coma. Alluka cursed herself briefly for deciding to make a healing wish earlier.

There was one obvious option, but he’d been out of range for days, probably forgetting to charge his phone or on the open ocean somewhere. He was forgetful as he was sweet.

Gon.

Alluka reached for the cellphone. They’d been sharing one ever since hers had taken a long drop over a waterfall a few weeks ago in a vain attempt to get the perfect shot. They hadn’t needed to get another one. They called all the same people after all, and they were always together.

Her throat tightened again.

She picked up the cellphone and dialed a number she knew by heart. It seemed to ring forever, she was sure it would roll over to voicemail like it had the last few times she’d tried calling, but then-

“KILLUAAAAA!” Came a familiar cheery shout through the phone.

Alluka’s hand moved to cover her mouth to muffle a sob. She was silent for a moment, unable to trust her own voice.

“Alluka?” Came the much quieter follow-up. “Is that you? Why are you crying?” He said gently. “Killua-“ Alluka choked suddenly, unable to get the words out over the lump in her throat.

“Killua what?” Gon said urgently. “Is he there with you? Can you put him on?” She could hear the panic in his voice and it did nothing but create an echo chamber, amplifying her own.

“He’s not here.” She said hoarsely.

The other end of the line was eerily silent for a moment.

“Then where is he Alluka? Where is Killua?” Gon’s voice was deep and his words inexorable. They rang hollowly through the line. She felt that he already knew.

“Illumi.” She whispered.

The other line was silent, but it felt like that quiet moment when the air grew humid and heavy before a storm.

*****

Gon sat quietly, undisturbed on the bow of the boat.

Just earlier that day, he had been surrounded by laughing sailors. He’d told them all loudly how excited he was to go see his best friend. He was so close now, he’d said. He was going to get there early and surprise him. They’d slapped him on the back and laughed with him, his excitement contagious. ‘”Friend” huh?’ one of them had winked at him. Killua might have blushed, but Gon smiled. Loving Killua wasn’t something he could bring himself to be embarrassed for. He had nothing to blush about.

There was nothing around him but silence now.

He sat, one foot dangling over the edge, the other propped on the rail, his arm resting across his knee and his eyes fixed staring blankly forward. He’d been there since the phone call. Unmoving.

None of the friendly sailors approached him. They gave the boy who had been laughing with them only a day before a wide berth.

He had been like a little light yesterday, infecting everyone else with his excitement and laughter, bolstering everyone’s mood. Today it felt like they had let something dangerous on their ship.

It was like being trapped with a lion. You stayed quiet in the background as it paced in front of the bars, hoping it didn’t notice you huddled in the corner of its cage. None of these men knew what ren was, but they could sense danger when scraped its claws down their door. They knew a predator when they saw one.  


They couldn’t help but feel relieved when the shoreline became just visible on the horizon.

*****

Waiting when adrenaline was coursing through your body, demanding action, was an unusual kind of torture. It put a sour feeling in her mouth and made her heart feel as if someone had a fist clenched around it.

There was nothing to be done until Gon got there.

Alluka sat listlessly in a café, chosen not for the food, but for its view of the docks. She glanced up from the muffin she was picking at to poke her phone, now kept obsessively at full battery just in case. No new messages, and it had been less than five minutes since she’d last checked. How had it not even been five minutes?  


It had been 36 hours since Killua had been taken, but not even Gon could make a boat sail faster. He’d be here in a few hours, and there was nothing to do but wait for him.

“Can I offer you some more tea miss?”

Alluka glanced up at her server. He seemed like a nice boy. He was a little older than her and handsome in a small-town kind of way. He also was very attentive about the state of her tea. Alluka couldn’t help the slow tired smile that tugged half-heartedly at her lips. Killua would certainly be giving him death glares if he’d been here. Her big brother was so protective.

“Yes, thank you so much.”

She took her hand off her mug and allowed him to refill it. Perhaps caffeine wasn’t the best choice for mitigating her anxiety, but she had to do something for the next few hours. Also, a little extra energy could only help at this point, it isn’t as though she’d really been sleeping.

He topped off her tea and gave her what would be a charming smile if she were in a state to be charmed before heading moving on to tend to another customer.  


The hours passed slowly. Alluka ordered a new food item every half-hour or so as she waited to justify taking up her seaside view table, but she ate none of them. The boy who had been smiling at her earlier looked at her a bit oddly now. Well, at least they’d have plenty of pastries for their journey she thought sardonically.

Finally, she saw it. It started off just a little black dot on the horizon, it looked like any of the other boats, she couldn’t be sure it was his, but as it grew closer, the finer details began to resolve. There was a boy sitting on the bow of the ship, he was hunched over, larger than she remembered, but she’d recognize that gravity-defying hair anywhere.

She stuffed her now ridiculous pile of bakery items in the bag they provided her and shoved it into her backpack before dropping enough money on the table for a generous tip and sprinting out the door.

She ran to the end of the dock as the boat approached, but the attendant waved her back. “Back up miss, we need to pull them in.” He said gruffly, but kindly.  


She backed up just enough to be out of range and not one step further. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him shake his head at her antics but she couldn’t spare a thought for him. Gon was finally close enough to make out his features.

He looked frightening.

Killua had told Alluka that Gon could have a terrifying temper, and it wasn’t like Alluka didn’t believe him- of course she did - but she couldn’t conceptualize it. She had only ever known Gon who laughed and teased and seemed to give off good natured vibes like sunlight. It was a little like being told what a tsunami is as you sat on a beautiful sun-warmed beach. Until you had seen one bear down upon you cold, merciless, and inevitable, you just couldn’t imagine such a thing happening there.

But here it came: the wave.

Gon’s face was flat, his normally bright eyes almost dark. It was Gon’s face, all the features were still there, his eyes were still golden-brown, his skin still tan and smooth, freckles still smattered jauntily across the bridge of his nose and his cheeks, but there was something eerily off about it. It was like walking into a room you knew to find everything shifted just ever so slightly, just enough that you knew someone strange had been there, that someone strange might still be lurking in that room.

Gon jumped off the bow of the boat as soon as it was close enough and landed on the dock with a heavy thud. He made his way towards her and for one insane moment Alluka almost backed-up, something in her hindbrain reacting like she had just spotted eye-shines glimmering in the dark. She shook off the feeling and stood her ground.

This was Gon after all.

“Alluka.” He said gruffly, reaching out to pull her in for a hug.

The last of the tension melted from her shoulders and she let herself rest against his strong chest for a moment. She let the weight of what happened slip from her for just a moment to take comfort in the arms of her friend, letting him hold her weight.

Then she straightened, pushing herself off of him and standing again on her own. She wiped the beginnings of tears from under her eyes and looked him dead in the eye.

“Well? Ready for a trip to Kukuroo Mountain?” Alluka said with macabre cheer. Gon smiled widely like he was baring his teeth.

*****

It was hard to track time in total darkness.

Killua had no concept of how long he’d been in that dark cold room other than ‘too long’. After waking up he’d shuffled across the cold stone floor groping for the wall. He now sat with his back in the corner, eyes locked on where he suspected the door was.

He’d been stripped of everything but his underwear, but his body had long since adjusted to the cold. The last time he had been in this room they left him in here for a week with no food and water, but when he emerged he had thought it had been a month. Time had a way of slowing to a crawl when you had nothing to do but anticipate the pain that might be waiting for you on the other side of that door.

Classic torture-training stuff. It would take more than this to shake him now.

A creaking sound interrupted the void of silence. Killua whipped his head around to see a sliver of light cutting through the darkness. Ah, he’d been wrong about where the door was.

A familiar figure stood limned in cold white light in the doorway. Big brother himself.

Illumi touched a button on the outside of the door before entering and the room was suddenly flooded with enough light to blind. Killua squinted through dark eyelashes refusing to close them despite the spike of pain the sudden stimulation caused. He knew better than to take his eyes off an animal like Illumi.

Killua’s mind ran at a mile a minute. On one hand, Killua was weak and nenless, Illumi was at full strength and almost certainly expecting an escape attempt, on the other hand Killua anticipated that his condition could only get worse from here on out. He had to try.

He stood to face his older brother and walked slowly towards him. Illumi tilted his head, watching him, not moving one inch from the door. His flat eyes measuring his movements. There would be no catching him off guard like this.

“I missed you big brother.” Killua said quietly, drawing from that tiny part of him that still meant it.

He saw Illumi’s eyes widen just ever so slightly in surprise, his grip on the door perhaps just the slightest bit looser.

Killua ran.

He slid smoothly under Illumi’s arm and got a taste of warmer air from the hallway before long pale fingers locked around his bicep and swung around with him, Illumi used his momentum to seamlessly twist behind him and lock another arm like a cage around Killua’s remaining arm and waist.

“That was actually an excellent attempt at manipulation.” Rather than angry, Illumi sounded almost proud, but Killua didn’t have a chance to dwell on it.

Illumi’s heel, enhanced with nen, slammed down on his right ankle. The sound of snapping bone reverberated around the hallway.

Killua grit his teeth as the leg gave out, he used the trajectory of his crumbling body to throw an elbow at Illumi’s neck, but without Godspeed, exhausted and injured, he wasn’t fast enough, Illumi ducked, dropped the arm around Killua’s bicep and twisted around him catching his thrown elbow as Killua fell. For a moment Killua had the weirdest desire to laugh, to an outside viewer, this might look like a dance, like he was somehow caught in the world’s most bizarre dip.

Then Illumi’s nen-enhanced heel slammed down on his left ankle, snapping it just as soundly as the other.

A puff of air escaped Killua’s lips like he’d been punched in the gut. He wouldn’t give Illumi the satisfaction of crying out in pain, but Illumi had heard it anyways. A small smile crossed his lips.

Killua’s knees buckled as he dropped, shattered ankles unable to support his weight. Illumi swept an arm under his knees and the other around his back. He lifted him oddly gently for someone who had just broken his bones- and wasn’t that just his big brother all over? Illumi carried him across the threshold and back into the cold stone room.

The door closed with finality behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Team Gon and Alluka are on the case. Illumi won't know what hit him. Drop me a comment if you liked it :)


	5. Lonely Little Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Killua, Illumi didn’t feel so hollow and alone.
> 
> He ran red stained fingers through soft white locks to comfort him while he worked, streaking it with gore. It didn’t make him any less lovely. Killua was a creature of blood and bone after all.
> 
> Just like Illumi.

Airship was the fastest way to travel, but somehow it still felt like a crawl. The sky was hatefully perfect and blue, interrupted by occasional fluffy white clouds. Alluka sighed loud enough to ruffle her bangs. Wasn’t the weather always supposed to reflect what you were feeling? She felt like movies had lied to her. 

Gon didn’t even glance her way at the sound. He stared unblinkingly out into the clear sky, seeing nothing. 

They had an entire balcony on the airship totally to themselves. Not a single passenger even tried to approach them, despite the fact that it was the best one, farthest from the noise of the propeller. She was sure none of them knew why, but Alluka had begun training nen with Killua and she could see the faint red and black aura that rose from Gon’s hunched shoulders like toxic smoke. 

It frightened her at first, though she stayed near him anyways wanting to comfort him and be comforted by him. The closer they got to Kukuroo mountain though, the more she felt weirdly invigorated by it. She wanted to send her family a message, she wanted them to never dare touch Killua again, she wanted to charge up that mountain guns blazing and from the feeling coming off of Gon he had the fire power to do it. 

Good. Let him be the powder keg. She’ll be the match. 

Alluka closed her eyes and centered herself looking inward. She could feel Nanika like a dark smoke, churning slowly inside of her. Normally Nanika’s presence felt more like mist, like warm humid air that comforted her and kept her from being too lonely trapped in that room as she was. When she was sad when Killua had briefly tried to make her remain locked inside Alluka, her presence was somehow drippy like a warm rain. When she was happy, when Killua petted their hair, she flowed quickly with tiny little splashes of joy, like a babbling brook. Right now though, Nanika was angry, her energy moving in more of a roil than slow drift as usual. Nanika knew what Alluka knew, she felt what Alluka felt, but she was also her own being and Alluka had never felt her angry like this. She didn’t spend much time thinking about what exactly Nanika was, it didn’t matter to her. They were together and Alluka loved her and that was all Alluka felt she really needed to know, but there was more to Nanika. Alluka could feel it now. Nanika’s anger was deep and old, like a yawning cavern, like a bottomless pit and Alluka was made intensely aware of her ‘otherness’ by it. 

Good. She could use that too.

*****

Killua was pinned down, cuffs tight around his wrists, pinning them together above his head. His useless ankles were bound tightly as well, locked close enough to the ground so that he could gain no leverage.

It was an unnecessary precaution. What could he have done with leverage anyways? 

Illumi was with him now, his hands full of needles. He sat by Killua’s side, fingers carding gently through soft pale hair as he worked. He had started at Killua’s feet, slowly working his way up leaving needles in his wake like some sort of twisted version of acupuncture. Killua’s world was nothing but the prick and slide of long thick needles, burrowing into his flesh like bot fly larva and the juxtaposed feeling of Illumi’s fingers running gently along his scalp. It always threw Killua terribly off-balance, that mix of tenderness and pain. He wondered if Illumi knew it. 

“You’ve grown it out.” Illumi observed casually.

Another needle punctured his abdomen angled just perfectly to cause the maximum amount of pain. 

Killua said nothing.

“I think I like it.” Illumi commented idly. “You know, you used to have it a bit long like this when you were a kid. Do you remember?”

Killua said nothing. 

“I remember.” Illumi answered himself. “I used to play with it when I read to you. What happened to those days?” If Illumi were capable of sounding wistful, Killua imagined this is what it would sound like. 

It was silent for awhile, just the sound of gentle breathing, the needles didn’t make a sound when they parted flesh. 

“I was suffocating.” Killua said quietly, surprised by his own honesty. 

Illumi paused for a moment, his blank flat eyes locked on Killua’s. 

“Suffocating? From what? I loved you.” Illumi said without inflection. “I love you.” He corrected more softly. Killua felt the old guilt well back up in his throat. It was the same feeling he had whenever he had looked at Illumi when he was younger, and imagined leaving him behind and running away. It was the feeling he had when he imagines Illumi alone in this cavernous monster of house with no one but their cold father and crazy mother. 

“You loved me in a cage.” 

“I kept you safe.” Illumi corrected. “I am the only person who has ever loved you little brother.” He said tonelessly. 

“Alluka-“ Killua rasped, but Illumi cut him off swiftly.

“You think it loves you, but it only loves that you set it free. You could have been anyone. It isn’t about you.” He continued, succinct and merciless, with full knowledge of the way the words dug deeper than needles could ever reach. Killua couldn’t look away from Illumi’s flat dark eyes, pulling him in like twin black holes. 

“Your friend doesn’t love you either. You were a tool to him, a useful one of course, but no one loves a knife and he dropped you when your purpose was completed.” It was said so matter-of-factly, so assuredly. To Killua it seemed to ring with terrible truth. How could Killua disagree? How could he doubt Illumi’s certainty? Moisture collected in the corners of his eyes, but he felt too wretched to even be ashamed of displaying weakness in front of his older brother. 

“I had no reason to love you when you were little, you did nothing for me, you were no use to me, but I loved you anyways.” Something a little like happiness, but rotted and decaying seemed to move in his chest. Killua did not look away from his brother’s eyes. They were like whirlpools of dark water, pulling him in to drown, but why would he want to breathe anyways, when just the air seemed to burn his lungs this much?

Illumi lined the delicate point of a needle up with the center of his forehead and began to push it ever so slowly through skin, blood, and bone to nest in his skull. 

And Killua drowned. 

*****

That same strange feeling he had when he was little, looking at his baby brother’s tiny face was back. It beat delicate wings in his chest again against its cage of bone. It was as much elation as Illumi thought himself capable of.

Now that Killua was back, Illumi knew that he could fix him. He could make Killua realize that Illumi loved him and he was the only one that loved him; not their hysterical mother or calculating father who had let him run, not his pig of a younger brother, nor the cowardly Kalluto, or the selfish Alluka that had stolen him away, and certainly not the boy with the spikey hair who tried to throw Killua’s life away like garbage fighting Chimera Ants. Only Illumi. It would only ever be Illumi, just like Killua was the only one who could ever love him. They were made for each other. 

So Illumi smiled as he used a flaying knife to separate the skin from the bottom of Killua’s feet. He hummed tunelessly as he snapped the delicate bones in his feet one-by-one, and as he used nen to enhance his pointer finger, using just enough pressure to create hairline fractures along each of his baby brother’s ribs. He didn’t delight in punishing Killua, but it was a necessary evil. Once it was done, they could be together as equals again. He could free Killua and they could go on missions together, just like they used to. 

Illumi also couldn’t help but be impressed, Killua hadn’t let his pain tolerance slip at all. He endured it silently and unflinchingly. He was just like Illumi.

Illumi had been lonely for so long, for the first years of his life he was an only child, growing up with the full force of their parents’ attention on him. He couldn’t make any friends of course, he didn’t really talk at all for the first few years of his life. Father had thought him mute for a while there, not that it mattered to him. You didn’t need a voice to kill. He endured his training and lived from day to day.

When Milluki was born, Illumi had originally looked forward to having a sibling, someone else who could take the unwavering and choking gaze of their parents off of him for even just a moment, but it was almost immediately clear how useless he was. Their parents gave up on Milluki almost as quickly as Illumi had.

It was different when Killua was born.

Right away he knew Killua was special. Killua trained with him, learned with him, and endured with him. Illumi didn’t feel as empty when long days of pain were followed up by teaching Killua to read or by helping to bandage his wounds. Endurance training became fun when it involved chasing Killua around the grounds, even having to punish Killua when he caught him didn’t diminish the delight in it.

With Killua, Illumi didn’t feel so hollow and alone.

He loved his baby brother. 

He ran red stained fingers through soft white locks to comfort him while he worked, streaking it with gore. It didn’t make him any less lovely. Killua was a creature of blood and bone after all.

Just like Illumi. 

*****

Alluka stepped off the airship onto solid ground. In the distance, she could just see the outline of Kukuroo mountain. It loomed on the horizon like a hulking creature. She had hoped never to come back here.

Gon stepped out beside her, eyes trained on the mountain in the distance with the air of a hunting dog. He trailed dark red and black aura that curled in tendrils up to the sky, but they were surrounded by ordinary civilians, and only she could see it… for now at least. 

“Should we go into zetsu?” She asked idly, almost talking to herself. Gon had talked so little since they met up that she was used to asking rhetorical questions to no one at this point.

“No.” Gon’s voice was gruff with disuse and strong emotion. “Let them know we’re coming. It won’t make a difference.” 

Alluka looked up at his stony expression and nodded. That worked for her.

Gon got immediate service renting a motorcycle from the nearby tourist booth. The man working with him practically throwing the keys at him and standing as far away as his service counter allowed. It would have been comical if Alluka were in the sort of mood for laughter. 

Gon wheeled the bike around. It looked fast and sleek with a seat just large enough to fit three people packed tightly together.

Perfect. 

*****

Killua lay on the cold stone floor, alone in the quiet and the dark. 

Illumi had removed the cuffs binding his ankles and wrists, a kindness that allowed Killua to curl up in ball to ease his fractured ribs. Everything ached. He wasn’t even sure if his eyes were open or not, not that it made a difference in total darkness. 

He focused on conserving his aura, trying to coax the tiny bit of energy he could feel inside him. It was almost nothing yet, and it may wither away if he continued to be starved, but he had to do something. If he didn’t focus on this, all he could think about was the one needle Illumi had left, the one in his skull. 

Claws sprouted from the tips of his fingers involuntarily at the thought. 

He had to leave it. Illumi would know if he removed it, and he’d just insert another. It wasn’t an experience Killua wanted to live through again. He was too strong to be controlled by needles now, but just the thought of it in there, like a parasite, was enough make him feel sick down to his bones. 

He forced himself not to reach for it. It was almost impossible to stop, but he had plenty of practice denying himself. Now was no time to give in. He had to be patient if he wanted out of here. Rushing would just set him back, and he needed to get out of here as soon as he could. Without him, no one was out there protecting Alluka and Nanika, and that was a thought he truly couldn’t stand. 

Maybe Illumi was right, maybe no one in the whole world but his big brother loved him, maybe he was unlovable to anyone except another killer like Illumi, but it didn’t matter. Killua didn’t need to be loved to feel it himself. He was used to being the more invested party. If Illumi thought that would stop Killua from doing anything to get back to his little sister and from reuniting with Gon, then perhaps he did not know Killua as well as he thought.

Killua held onto that sentiment with bloody fists, he wouldn’t let Illumi’s dark eyes drown out this small bit of him that was light, this little bit of him that was not Illumi’s lonely shadow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Killua needs a hug.
> 
> I hope you're enjoying it! Drop a comment if you liked it :)


	6. Fire and Fury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She had always thought that her nightmares of him had exaggerated the paleness of his skin and the blank dark nothingness of his eyes, but looking at him now, she felt those dreams were more accurate than she had given them credit for. The figure before her could have crawled straight out of her nightmares, the ones where spidery fingers took Killua away and locked her in a blank stone room for eternity with nothing but dead-eyed stuffed animals for company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I had this conversation with Anonymous last chapter and I just had to include it because it is EXACTLY what I was going for:
> 
> Anonymous on Chapter 5 Mon 27 Jan 2020 01:06AM EST  
> KILLUA REALLY NEEDS A HUG!!! Ok NGL but I do actually feel bad for Illumi. You showed how Illumi, like every other human being, craves the love of another. It's just that his experiences in childhood and how he was raised in the family have warped his perceptions. He wasn't able to have friends and lived under the impression that only other members of the family could love him, ergo he covets Killua's love because in his mind Killua is the only one capable of loving him. It really, truly is sad, especially as Illumi continues to deny that Killua has his own unique wants and needs and people who love him. That being said, if Gon and Alluka and/or Nanika wipe the floor with him, I will not be disappointed. Looking forward to the next chapter! Thanks for continuing to write, your style is fantastic!
> 
> Thank you so much for your comment! This is EXACTLY what I am going for. Illumi can’t be excused or forgiven for what he’s done, but I do think that he is a pitiable character given that it must’ve been hard to grow up with no one but his parents and Milluki. It would’ve been a miracle if he turned out normally. Also, he really does love Killua a lot in a twisted, selfish way. He was likely the one bright part of Illumi’s shitty childhood and now he’s clinging to him like a life raft unaware that he’ll drown them both if he keeps it up.

Kukuroo mountain seemed to grow larger and more ominous as they approached. Deep purple/black clouds cast the mountain in a dark shade. She couldn’t wait to have it at her back again. Hopefully after what she and Nanika had planned, they’d never have to see it again. 

Gon whipped around another corner at what someone might feel was breakneck speed if they’d never had a chance to give Godspeed a go. Her helmet pushed up against his as she held on tightly from behind. As they made their final ascent the enormous stone gates of the Zoldyck manner loomed before them. She could feel her heartbeat racing as the adrenaline really started to kick in. She’d be walking off this mountain with Killua soon, and their family would never bother them again.

Nanika seemed to grow more tempestuous inside her in anticipation. 

Gon skidded to a stop in front of the gates, hopping off in a fluid movement. Alluka dismounted after him pulling off her helmet and placing on the seat.

An old man with white hair and a bristly mustache stepped out from the small hut located outside the gates. His cheery smile faded as he set eyes on Gon and he halted suddenly in his approach, eyeing him warily.

“Shall I assume you are here to test your strength opening the gates?” 

Gon walked past him, not sparing him a glance. “No.”

He stood directly in front of the gates and entered a crouch, one hand behind him clenched in a fist, the other cupped in front. Alluka kept her distance, standing by the bike. She was too far to make out the words, but she could hear him chanting quietly under his breath. 

The wind began to pick up, her hair whipping around her. A brilliant yellow light engulfed Gon’s hand like a miniature sun. The ground beneath him cracked and the wind whipped up even faster like standing in a hurricane. 

Alluka took a few extra steps backwards, fighting the pull of the wind.

Gon shouted something she couldn’t make out and swung the ball of glowing light around his fist at the center of the doors.

He was right, they didn’t open…

They shattered. 

Literal tons of heavy stone were flung into the forest behind, knocking down trees and leaving a path of destruction before they eventually rolled to a stop. Deep gouges in the earth marked their trajectory. 

The white-haired man sat on the ground a few meters back, apparently knocked down by the force of the blast, staring agog at Gon.

Gon straightened casually, shook out his fist, and walked back towards the bike, not bothering to put his helmet back on. He swung a leg over it and turned so she could see his profile, the smallest ghost of a smile on his lips.

“Ready?” He asked, a little bit of that teasing cheekiness visible around the edges of his anger. 

Alluka re-hinged her jar and got on behind him, a little hysterical giggle slipping out.

Well… she had wanted fire power. 

*****

None of the butlers got in their way as they rode to up the mountain to the imposing manor at the pinnacle, not that she could blame them after that fireworks show. As they approached she could see her father standing impassively in front of the Zoldyck mansion, arms crossed in front of his hulking chest. Alluka tightened her grip on the back of Gon’s jacket. She refused to be afraid. 

Gon let the motorcycle glide to a stop and stepped off, squaring off with Father. He had grown in the past few years, he was bulkier than Killua and even taller than him now, but he still seemed dwarfed by the man in front of him. 

Not that Gon was one to be intimidated. Father stared out at them impassively, and Alluka couldn’t help but wonder how someone could share such similar coloring with Killua and be related to him, and yet look so completely different. There was nothing of her older brother in that blocky harsh face. Somehow even his eyes, the same shade of blue as Alluka’s and Killua’s, were completely and totally unrecognizable. 

He said nothing and his face gave away nothing. He didn’t even acknowledge her, he kept his eyes locked on Gon. She swung a leg over and hopped off the motorcycle, striding forward to stand shoulder to shoulder with Gon. 

“We’re here for Killua.” Alluka said firmly, finding her voice. 

“Are you now?” He said, not even deigning to look her way, dismissing her entirely. Alluka’s fists clenched at her sides at the casual amusement in his tone, as if humoring a child. “I suppose that’s everything full circle then isn’t it?” He asked wryly. 

Behind him, she could see Mother and Kalluto walk out and join Father on the green. The first scattered drops of rain fell, doting her clothes. 

Then Illumi walked out and it felt like the temperature dropped sharply. An ill wind picked up again. Alluka glanced over at Gon and saw his lip curled in a feral snarl, fists clenched so tightly it must be painful.

Illumi smiled at him tauntingly. 

Gon took a step forward, but Alluka placed a hand on his forearm to stop him. She felt him stutter to a halt, but she knew that his grip on his temper was tenuous, held back by a thread. She had to act and fast if she wanted to keep this situation under control.

She squared her shoulders and looked at Illumi. She had always thought that her nightmares of him had exaggerated the paleness of his skin and the blank dark nothingness of his eyes, but looking at him now, she felt those dreams were more accurate than she had given them credit for. The figure before her could have crawled straight out of her nightmares, the ones where spidery fingers took Killua away and locked her in a blank stone room for eternity with nothing but dead-eyed stuffed animals for company. 

A shudder ran down her spine, and she knew Illumi didn’t miss that momentary weakness. His eyes briefly traced her form.

Last time she had run from this place she’d been a little girl in a pretty dress, clinging tightly to her older brother. Now she stood here on her own, back straight, chin up, wearing dark pants and a deep purple shirt a few sizes too big. From the faintest impression of irritation that crossed Illumi’s face, she knew that he recognized it as Killua’s. She wore it like battle armor. 

Her grip tightened on Gon’s forearm. 

“We’re here for Killua!” Alluka said again firmly, refusing to break eye contact with Illumi. 

Illumi tilted his head to the side. 

“Killua is a Zoldyck, he belongs here.” The implication that she was not a Zoldyck, and did not belong here was clear in his words, but if he thought that would hurt he was wrong. She didn’t need any family other than Killua. 

“Killua belongs with us.” Gon snapped fiercely beside her, losing the battle with his anger inch-by-inch with each passing second. The thread holding him back strained. 

*****

The tiniest sliver of light sliced its way across the pitch blackness of Killua’s cage. He looked up at it, squinting through his eyelashes at the sudden brightness, expecting to see Illumi’s familiar outline, surprisingly, he did not see the older brother he had expected.

Milluki stood there, face obscured by the light behind him and the darkness of the room before him, but his tone held enough mocking disgust that Killua could guess at his expression.

“I just wanted you to know, that everything you did was pointless.” 

“And why is that pig.” Killua said casually, knowing that nothing irritated Milluki like dismissal. 

“It followed you here.” Milluki sneered. “All that trouble running off with it and it just followed you right back.”

Killua’s eyes widened, unable to feign nonchalance. “Alluka is here?” 

Milluki smiled, feeling as though he had the upper hand again. 

“Isn’t that sweet? It came back here, maybe Mother and Father will be kind and allow it to live in the cage next to yours.” Milluki let the door slam shut as punctuation to his words, satisfied that he’d managed to inflict wounds on Killua too. 

Killua forced himself upright into a sitting position, panic and despair rising in his chest. What was Alluka thinking delivering herself back to their family? Everything he did these past few years he’d done to keep her free. It was all pointless if he let them capture her. He’d rather them be separate and have her be free than be trapped here together. Didn’t she know that?

Killua shook his head, trying to clear it and to calm the pounding of his heart. He needed a plan. He needed to save her. He needed to think damn it! 

The amount of nen he had managed to regenerate was hopelessly small. Not enough for Godspeed. Not enough for anything. Fear seemed to crackle in his veins. 

Killua paused, eyes widening briefly despite the pointlessness of that action in the deep dark of this room. Was that fear crackling in his veins? It felt oddly like…

Like….

Killua turned his head upwards towards the sky.

It felt oddly like a storm. 

Hope burgeoned in his chest. Maybe he didn’t need a lot of nen, maybe he had just enough to take advantage of what was already there. 

Killua raised himself to his knees and threw up both arms, palms open and reaching for the sky as if in supplication. He called to the storm he could feel brewing high above the manor, and felt the charge of lightning in those clouds answer him. 

Killua felt the hair prickle on the back of his neck, then raise entirely. The darkness of the room around him was suddenly banished by the silver-white glow of his hatsu, like starlight in the pitch black of the night sky. 

He smiled, feeling the lightning build above him, ready to come, eager to meet him. He felt it’s raw powder like screaming joy.

“Raijin.” He whispered, and the lightning answered. 

*****

“Killua belongs with us.” 

Alluka opened her mouth ready to put her plan into action before Gon could do something insane, like charge Illumi with an entire Zoldyck contingent there to back him up, when suddenly her words were stolen with a gasp.

The clouds above the manor, which had already looked angry, began to swirl quickly; unnaturally quickly. The air seemed to fill with prickling tension, building like a shriek. 

“Gon!” Alluka shouted with enough urgency that she managed to pull his gaze off Illumi and on to her. 

“Close your eyes and cover your ears.” She pushed the flats of her palms over her ears, and just before she closed her eyes, she saw Gon do the same, not even bothering to question her.

Despite everything, Alluka smiled at the show of trust. 

White light flashed before them, brighter than daylight even through her closed eyelids. Then, just a heartbeat later, the thunder boomed loud enough to rattle her bones.

She opened her eyes in time to see Gon do the same. He shook his head like a dog that had gotten water in its ear. 

“What was…” He trailed off in awe. An entire wall of the Zoldyck manor had been reduced to rubble, a hole from the roof down to the cavernous basement had opened up. 

“Raijin.” Alluka whispered, smiling. Big brother really was amazing. 

A figure glowing with silver white light rose from the basement through the enormous hole in the ground, he seemed to almost hover above it for a second before drifting back down towards the shattered ground. 

“Killua.” She heard Gon whisper next to her, almost reverently. She spared him a glance and took in the open adoration on his face. She filed that away for later. Gon was definitely hopelessly in love with her big brother, and as with every other time that Killua was wrong, Alluka was totally going to rub it in his face. It was practically her duty as younger sister. 

“Killua!” Gon said again suddenly, this time with concern, stepping forward with wide amber eyes and hands outstretched. 

Alluka whipped her head around to see that Killua had fallen onto one knee when he landed. The brilliant starlight of his hatsu faded and suddenly dark bruises on his wrists, ribs, and ankles stood out in harsh relief against porcelain skin. 

He looked up at them, blue eyes wide with fear. Fear for them. 

“Alluka, Gon.” The words were barely audible at this distance. She watched her ever practical brother shake off his surprise ready to take advantage of the current disarray caused by his rather explosive entrance. 

“Nanik-“ 

Illumi appeared behind Killua in a heartbeat. Long fingers closed around Killua’s neck cutting off his air and his words.

“No wishes, little brother.” He whispered into Killua’s ear. 

Gon’s aura suddenly exploded out of him, dark and choking like fury incarnate. Alluka’s skin felt tight and hot as his aura enveloped them, as if standing next to a wildfire. 

“Illumi! Let Killua go.” He demanded, stalking closer to the pair of them, cutting through the debris scattered grounds smoothly as a shark through water. “Now.” He stopped just before where Illumi held Killua and planted his feet; an immovable object. 

Father watched impassively, ignoring the shrieks of Mother entirely. Kalluto stood quietly next to her in her shadow, expression blank and unreadable. Illumi merely smiled, fingers still wrapped tightly around Killua’s neck and hooked his chin over Killua’s shoulder.

“No.” He said simply.

“Remove your hand or I’ll remove your head.” Gon spat, moving closer yet. Killua’s injured form between them the only thing preventing him from attacking. Illumi was well aware of this.

“You’ll do nothing.” He said simply. “You fight like a sledgehammer, and you can’t touch me without hurting Killua. Though,” Illumi paused, leaning his head against Killua’s in a move designed to infuriate Gon further. If the renewed crackle of his aura was anything to go by, it was working. “if Hisoka’s stories of your time at Greed Island hold true, perhaps hurting Killua as a means to an end doesn’t bother you.” 

The words were as sharp and accurate as his needles. Air left Gon in an audible gasp whistling through his clenched teeth. He stepped closer to Illumi who tightened his hold on Killua in response. Killua didn’t seem to be paying the hand on his neck any mind, his blue eyes were wide with desperation and fixed on Gon, trying wordlessly to communicate something, but Gon’s gaze was fixed on Illumi, his eyes almost black in anger. 

Alluka didn’t know what the hell Illumi was talking about, but she didn’t care either. Nanika, who had begun to churn almost nauseatingly inside of her when Killua had called to them, was poised and ready to answer her call. Itching for a wish. 

“Illumi.” She said calmly, voice just loud enough to be heard “hand Killua to Gon. Now.”

His eyes slid from Gon’s form to hers, somehow, if possible, filling with even more disdain. He didn’t deign to answer her, nor did he move to let Killua go, though he struggled in Illumi’s grip at her words. 

“What do you see when you look at me?” Alluka asked, seemingly apropos of nothing. “What do you think Nanika is?” She said, voice growing louder and more confident in her anger. She was sick of Illumi hunting them. She was sick of him haunting their dreams and she was done watching him hurt her big brother.  


“Do you think she’s some sort of nen ability?” She spat. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her Father look directly at her for maybe the first time in his life. His focus on her intense and complete. 

“You have no idea what she is or what she is capable of.” Alluka let the words settle, filling the sudden silence of their rubble-strewn yard. “Let me give you a demonstration.” Alluka straightened, closing her eyes and focusing on the swirling mass inside her.

“Nanika!” She called, and Nanika answered, ready for the command. She felt her hair lift as if caught in a gentle breeze as Nanika began to take over. “If we are not off this mountain within the next 20 minutes, let Kukuroo mountain erupt and the Zoldyck estate be buried under magma and ash.” She heard the collective intake of breath from her surrounding “family” members and fought back a wicked smile. “and if we are off this mountain, “ she continued “give Killua a kiss on the cheek.”  


Alluka’s eyes opened, one her own bright blue, the other an endless black pit. Her mouth was Nanika’s, and she felt it curve upwards in smile. 

“Ai.” Nanika answered eagerly. 

Checkmate.

Father looked at her with genuine fear in his eyes. Good. Let him get the smallest taste of what he would face if he was foolish enough to take on Nanika. Illumi on the other hand, did not look afraid. Illumi looked furious and, perhaps it was her imagination, but she caught the edge of what looked like despair on his face. Just the barest hint of something reminiscent of terrible emptiness and loneliness. For a moment, Alluka almost felt bad for him; she knew more than most how terrible loneliness could be, but she would not leave Killua to him. Not ever. 

Her brother, despite Illumi’s spidery fingers still clasping his throat, smiled at her. He looked proud of her. He didn’t break eye contact as he raised his hand to wrap around Illumi’s. He pulled it unresistingly from his neck. He let their hands drop together, and his hand remained in Illumi’s. She watched Killua and Illumi look into each other’s eyes for a moment, something wordless passed between them. Killua’s fingers tightened briefly on his, before letting his hand drop. Illumi watched him, almost listlessly. His hand was frozen and open where Killua had dropped it, as if ready to accept his hand back again. 

Killua turned and took a step forward, but his ruined ankles would not support him. He tripped falling into Gon’s chest. 

Gon caught him easily, arms locking behind Killua tightly for a moment before picking him up bridal style. He stood for a moment, dark eyes still locked on Illumi’s, tension evident in every line of his body as if deciding whether or not to lunge. A pale hand clutched the fabric of his jacket, demanding attention and Gon’s eyes slid from Illumi’s to meet Killua’s. 

“Gon.” He whispered. “That’s enough.” Gon, let his head drop to press his forehead against Killua’s and let out a breath. The pressure in the air seemed to lesson.  


He turned his back on Illumi and walked towards Alluka, triumphant. As they approached Alluka’s eyes fixed on Killua’s face, taking in the dark half-moons under his eyes, and the tired smile on his face.

“I can’t believe you followed me, brat. Didn’t I tell you to never come back here?” He said wryly, voice hoarse from emotion, strangulation, or both. 

“Seemed like a good time for a family reunion I guess.” She teased.

Gon laughed, his dark aura dissipating further as he buried his smile in Killua’s hair. Killua, in true Killua fashion, somehow had enough energy left for a faint blush to color his cheeks at the action. 

Alluka giggled and mouthed ‘I told you so’ at him. His glare lacked bite, but his cheeks got just a tiny bit redder.

Gon sat him down on the motorcycle before mounting in the front. Alluka jumped on the back, wrapping her arms around Killua as delicately as possible, mindful of the angry purple marks decorating his ribs. 

Gon started the motorcycle and headed down off the mountain. 

Not one of them looked back. 

The rain that had threatened before escalated from a few drops to a downpour, drenching them in an instant. Killua tilted his face up into the deluge and smiled widely, feeling totally free for the first time he could remember.

As they descended, the ruined stone gates came into sharper resolve. Killua peered around Gon gaping at the scale of the damage.

“What…” He trailed off, apparently speechless.

“They were in my way!” Gon yelled loud enough to be heard over the sound of the pounding rain and the growl of the motorcycle. 

Killua burst out laughing, it sounded half-joyful, half-hysterical. Alluka and Gon couldn’t help but join as the tension and stress caught up with them and was released in the form of laughter. If there were a few tears, they went unnoticed in the face of the pouring rain. 

The second they crossed the threshold, Alluka planted a wet loud kiss right on Killua’s cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure many of you were hoping Illumi would get his ass handed to him. Hopefully you liked this too! One more chapter left. Time for the "comfort" part of this "hurt/comfort" lol.
> 
> Drop me a comment :)


	7. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thank you…” Killua said, suddenly more serious. “thank you for coming for me.” Laughter died in Gon’s chest as he stared down at the other boy in surprise.
> 
> “Of course I came.” He said baffled, not even sure what Killua was getting at. 
> 
> “There’s no ‘of course’.” Killua huffed, but Gon was shaking his head before Killua even finished, dismissing his words.
> 
> “I will always come for you.” He said seriously. Blue eyes widened in response searching Gon’s expression as if to determine what that was supposed to mean, but Gon meant what he said, there was nothing more complicated to it, no hidden meaning. He would always come for Killua, he couldn’t do anything else.

They rode for miles, Killua insisting they get as far from Kukuroo mountain as possible, but Gon eventually picked a place to stop despite Killua’s protests. He could feel the smaller boy shivering against his back, shirtless and wet and windblown. He kicked himself for jumping on the motorcycle and heading out without thinking - he should’ve given Killua his jacket!- he also wanted to take stock of Killua’s injuries. Gon trusted Killua in almost everything, but not to be honest about the extent and severity of his injuries. He knew the other boy way too well for that. 

He dismounted smoothly and took off his jacket, draping it over Killua’s shoulders before leaning down to pick him up. 

Killua smacked his arm away. “Absolutely not!”

“Killua!” Gon whined. “Look at your feet, you can’t walk on those!”

“Well I refuse to be carried in there like a princess. I can’t believe I let you get away with that earlier!” He said, crossing his arms over his chest and turning his nose up in the air. 

Alluka laughed, relieved that her brother felt good enough to be grouchy. “How about a piggy-back ride?” She said cheerfully. 

Gon looked at Killua hopefully, making a puppy-dog face that Killua thought had no business making a teenage boy of Gon’s size look so adorable. He sighed in defeat. Gon smiled brightly and put a fist in the air before turning and crouching by the motorcycle.

Killua eased himself onto Gon’s back with a slowness that let her know he was hurting more than he had let on earlier. As soon as Killua’s arms were around his neck Gon stood up and hiked Killua’s legs up around his hips, laughing at Killua’s squeak of surprise.

He smacked Gon lightly on the head in retaliation, but the other boy didn’t pay it any heed, bounding happily into the lobby of the hotel looking like a completely different person than he had just a few hours ago. 

She flipped up the motorcycle seat and dug her backpack out of it, following the boys into the lobby and postponing her analysis of Gon’s mercurial nature for another day. She was exhausted from her wish on Nanika and the stress of the past few days. She wanted nothing more than to wrap Killua’s wounds and fall face-first into bed. 

Gon was at the counter already, loudly reserving them a room, completely oblivious to the incredulous stare the receptionist had fixed on Killua. She supposed it wasn’t everyday that he saw a shirtless boy, bloody and bruised in a coat a size or two too big and some ragged looking underwear get a piggy back ride in his front lobby. 

Alluka shook her head fondly as she approached them listening with half an ear as Gon took the room keys before her eyes dropped to her brother’s feet and she stopped in shock.

“Killua!” She gasped covering her mouth. The bottom of his feet were completely red and stripped of skin.

Gon whipped around startled, room key held in front of him like a weapon.

Killua blinked at her. “Alluka, are you okay?” he asked worriedly. 

“Am I okay!?” She choked, waving her hand in front of her. “Look at your feet!” 

Killua grimaced. 

“Did he skin the bottom of your feet?” Alluka asked, shock slowly giving way to anger. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the receptionist back away slowly. Maybe she shouldn’t have said that so loudly. 

“What.” Gon said flatly, craning his neck over his shoulder like he would be able to see Killua’s feet from there. 

Killua sighed waving them off. “It’s fine, it grows back. Let’s just get up to the room before we cause more of a scene.” He squeezed Gon’s hips with his knees like he was spurring on a horse. Gon didn’t seem to notice, his bubbliness dying away as quickly as it had come as he stalked towards the elevator. 

“It grows back...?” Alluka whispered incredulously under her breath as she followed them. Like that made it okay somehow? She wished Nanika were still awake so she could just wish all this damage away. Alluka wondered if it was worth the fight trying to convince him to go to the hospital. 

The ride up the room was tense and silent. The second they got into the room Alluka asked Gon to put Killua in the shower -there was no point in wrapping his wounds as covered in gore as he was- before she shooed him out of the bathroom.

“Hey! But-“ Gon protested as he was pushed out the door by Alluka. 

“Sibling time! Give me five minutes here.” She shut the door in his pouting face before turning back to Killua, who was sitting morosely on the floor of the shower, still shivering slightly from being cold, wet, and partially naked. 

“You look like a drowned cat.” She said dryly.

He turned a glare on her that did nothing at all to change her assessment. She heard Gon laugh quietly outside the bathroom door. She rolled her eyes. Apparently Gon was literally going to wait directly in front of the bathroom door. 

Alluka walked over as Killua pulled Gon’s jacket off and threw it onto the bathroom floor, she didn’t bother waiting to turn on the water until he’d stripped off his underwear, they were clearly already ruined anyway, torn and blood stained as they were. 

After she started the shower she turned to the massive jacuzzi sized bath tub set on the other side of the bathroom. She turned the water on to start it filling, dumping some of the herbal-smelling bubble bath in there. 

Killua was already scrubbing dried blood out of his hair by the time she made it back over. She sat next to him on the floor, just outside of the shower and slumped a bit in exhaustion.

Killua looked over at her in concern as he rinsed off some of the soap. “Are you okay?” 

She glared at him weakly. “Are you okay?” 

“You look exhausted, like you haven’t slept in days. You need to take care of yourself.” He insisted, scolding her lightly. Alluka stared at him incredulously for a moment, completely speechless in the face of the overwhelming hypocrisy of that statement. 

“Oh, sorry I look tired, you look tortured.” She retorted when she managed to find her voice again. Killua just looked back at her unimpressed. 

“Alluka, this isn’t a big deal. I’m used to it.” Alluka could tell that Killua genuinely meant it, that he couldn’t hear how totally insane it sounded to say that you were used to torture, that it ‘wasn’t a big deal’. She shook her head, too exhausted to outline for him all the ways that was totally and completely wrong. Maybe she should make Nanika wipe Kukuroo mountain off the face of the earth anyways, she thought darkly. 

“Oh good, you’re used to torture. I feel loads better now.” Her voice cracked and Killua’s expression softened as he reached a hand out to grasp hers. 

“I’m sorry for scaring you Alluka.” He whispered gently. Something squeezed tight in Alluka’s chest and she couldn’t stop the hot tears that started dripping down her face. Killua scooted to the edge of the shower and reached for her, giving her a sopping wet hug, petting her hair in that perfect way that always made her feel better. 

“Nice shirt by the way.” He said after a moment, when Alluka’s sobs had quieted to sniffling. She laughed into his shoulder.

“Thanks, I thought you’d like it. I’m totally keeping it by the way. It’s mine now.” She felt quiet laughter shake Killua’s chest in response.

The door swung open making them both jump and Gon tromped in like he owned the place with a stubborn expression on his face.

“It’s been five minutes!” He declared and began unceremoniously kicking off his boots and peeling off his shirt. Alluka blinked in surprise at the impressive set of abdominal muscles suddenly on display in front of her. Wow. He’d certainly filled out. She glanced over at her brother’s face and couldn’t help but giggle at the naked admiration there.

He glanced over at her, cheeks darkening and gave her a stern look. She just waggled her eyebrows in response before giving an exaggerated wink.

“Get out of here, brat.” He shoved her shoulder lightly. She stood up on tired legs and slid past Gon and out the door. 

“Remember, I’m just a thin door away here, so no funny business.” She said as a parting shot before shutting the door quickly behind her.

“Alluka!” She heard Killua hiss in embarrassment over the sound of Gon laughing. 

*****

Gon thought that Killua really did look like a drowned cat, sitting on the floor of the shower. He felt a smile tug at the corner of his mouth, an adorable drowned cat though. 

He slipped off his shorts and kicked them off into the bathroom before walking over to Killua, who had lowered his eyes shyly. “Take a bath with me?” He asked quietly.

He was almost surprised when Killua nodded, though his pale cheeks were a shade of red that shower heat alone could not explain. He turned off the shower and scooped Killua up carrying him over to the bath Alluka had gotten ready. He slipped them both in, settling Killua on his lap. Killua let his head fall back to rest against Gon’s chest.

The show of trust made Gon’s heart skip a beat. He ran his fingers through Killua’s pale hair, pushing it out of his face so he could look down into the bright blue eyes he’d missed so much.

“Hi.” He said quietly.

“Hi dummy.” Killua said just as quietly looking up at him through dark lashed clumped from water. Gon couldn’t help but laugh fondly at what had to be the most ‘Killua’ response he could imagine. 

“Thank you…” Killua said, suddenly more serious. “thank you for coming for me.” Laughter died in Gon’s chest as he stared down at the other boy in surprise.

“Of course I came.” He said baffled, not even sure what Killua was getting at. 

“There’s no ‘of course’.” Killua huffed, but Gon was shaking his head before Killua even finished, dismissing his words.

“I will always come for you.” He said seriously. Blue eyes widened in response searching Gon’s expression as if to determine what that was supposed to mean, but Gon meant what he said, there was nothing more complicated to it, no hidden meaning. He would always come for Killua, he couldn’t do anything else. 

Gon left the conversation drop, running his fingers gently down the other boy’s neck, lightly tracing the dark finger marks left by Illumi. Killua watched uneasily as Gon’s face darkened.

“How bad is it?” 

“Not bad.” Killua answered automatically, hoping to banish Gon’s anger before it could grow claws. Gon stared down at him unimpressed.

“How about you tell me the damage and I’ll judge how bad it is for myself.” Killua glared at him, annoyed at the implication that Gon couldn’t take his word for it. Gon stared back silently waiting for Killua to crack.

“I meant it! It really isn’t bad Gon, you know what we’ve had to deal with in the past.” Killua said, quietly exasperated. “He skinned the bottom of my feet, broke a few bones in my feet and ankles and cracked a few rib bones, but that’s really it.” Killua recounted.

Gon’s face grew stormier above him.

“He broke your ankles too?”

“Why do you think I let you carry me dummy?” Killua shook his head at Gon’s obliviousness, honestly, where did he think the creeping dark bruises came from? Manacles alone weren’t capable of that. “Besides,” He continued darkly “if you’re trying to stop your prey from running away, going for the ankles makes sense.” 

“Killua is not prey.” Gon said flatly. Killua looked up and saw Gon’s eyes were dark and flat. Terrible memories of a broken boy in the forests of East Gorteau momentarily superimposed themselves over his best friend’s face and Killua shuddered. 

“Gon.” He begged quietly, bringing up a hand to rest on Gon’s cheek. Desperate to get that look off his face. Killua had plenty enough nightmares to contend with at the moment without adding new ones, thank you very much. 

Gon took a deep breath and tried to let the anger out with it. He didn’t want to be like this, he didn’t want to scare Killua, but it was so hard sometimes. Gon thought of his anger almost like a thing that lived inside him, separate from him. He did his best to cage it, but it was always pacing behind the bars, hungry like a bottomless pit and almost impossible to leash if it got out. Somehow, Killua’s touch made it easier, calmed something inside him and let Gon be a better, gentler version of himself, the person he wanted to be, the person he had been working towards every day since he and Killua separated. 

He reached a hand out and intertwined his fingers with the hand Killua had rested on his face. He drew it gently away from him and kissed the black and blue marks marring pale wrists, undoubtedly left by chains. Killua shivered at the sensation, before pulling his hand from Gon’s grasp. He used a gentle hand on his tan cheek to turn his face towards him.

Killua wasn’t sure if it was the exhaustion or the relief that caused his momentary insanity, but before he could chicken-out he arched up and placed a gentle kiss on Gon’s lips.

Killua registered that they were warm, made soft and damp from the steam rising off the bathwater, before Gon gasped into his mouth and pulled him in more tightly with a hand cradling the back of his head. Gon traced the seam of his lips with his tongue and Killua opened for him. It was slow and wet, the gentle push of a tongue, the barest scrape of teeth, a tiny bit of suction on his bottom lip. 

Killua pulled back for air, nose still close enough to brush against Gon’s. He refused to spoil this moment by getting embarrassed, he was too exhausted for it anyways. If there was any pinkness to his cheeks, Killua was certain it was because of the warmth of the bath, not the look of happy wonder on Gon’s face.

The bright look didn’t leave his amber eyes, but his lips did shift slightly into a pout.

“Killua, I was going to kiss you first.” He whined “You just stole my thunder.” The pout shifted a bit to a sly look.

Killua pulled a bit farther back from Gon’s chest to glare at him. “If that was a pun, consider that the first and only kiss you’re ever getting from me.” 

Gon’s eyes widened. “It wasn’t!” He insisted loudly. Killua shushed him with an eye to the door, hoping he wouldn’t wake Alluka. 

“Besides, I know you want to kiss me more too. I’m sure you felt the… electricity.” Killua didn’t believe that manufactured wide-eyed innocent expression for one second. He smacked Gon lightly on the chest before turning away with his nose up in the air.

“Nope. That’s it. We are officially done.”

Gon laughed and planted a loud smacking kiss on his cheek that had Killua trying to smack him again before following it up with a few sweet small kisses along his hairline. Warm fingers gently tilted Killua’s chin back to face him and planted another soft warm kiss on his mouth. The lingering chill that had taken root in that stone room below his family’s manor and persisted since his escape finally dissipated giving way to gentle warmth. It took with it the last of Killua’s adrenaline and he felt abruptly exhausted, like he might fall asleep at any moment. He sighed into Gon’s kiss running his tongue along his soft bottom lip before pulling back. Gon, eyes still closed moved forward slightly with his retreat, unwilling to let go. Warm breath shuddered over his lips and Gon placed one more warm chaste kiss on Killua’s kiss-red lips before drawing back. 

Killua let his head fall back against Gon’s chest and Gon tucked his head under his chin and buried his nose in Killua’s fluffy white hair. It was probably bad to feel this happy when Killua was hurt, but Gon couldn’t help it. He sat there in the warm water for way too long running fingers lightly over the pale skin of Killua’s chest and arms, loving the gentle closeness. He stayed until Killua’s breaths began to even out and he slumped a bit more heavily into Gon’s chest.

Gon sighed, running his fingers through Killua’s wet hair one more time before lifting him out of the water. Killua blinked up at him, bleary eyed and exhausted. He grumbled a little bit at the position change and the cold air with a tiny moue of discontent before planting his face in Gon’s chest again and closing his eyes. 

Killua was way too adorable. Gon laughed as quietly as he could manage, but he felt so happy he wanted to scream. 

He set the sleepy boy down on the rim of the bathtub and went to get supplies to wrap Killua’s feet. He threw on his undershirt and boxer briefs and opened the bathroom door as quietly as possible to avoid disturbing Alluka and grabbed her backpack. 

He pulled out some clothes for Killua and dug around until he found the bandages and salve in the front pocket. He walked silently back to the bathroom with his haul and closed the door behind him with a barely audible ‘click’. Gon turned to face his best friend who hadn’t moved from his slouched position on the edge of the tub. Tired blue eyes, made no less intense by the dark half-moons that lined his bottom lashes, looked up at him through his starkly white bangs, still dripping with warm water. 

Amber eyes traced the dark bruises that spiderwebbed across his ribs and the wide dark marks outlining where chains had bound his wrists and ankles. The ankles looked especially bad, they were swollen and black-purple. Gon had no idea how he had missed the fact that they were broken earlier. It was probably by design, Killua hid pain better than anyone he’d ever met and Gon knew that he was not especially observant. He would be though, he vowed silently to himself. He shook off the creeping anger that threatened again as he’d looked over the other boy’s porcelain skin, darkened and mottled, pain written across every inch of it, though none of it touched his sharp features. Now was the time to take care of Killua, not give in to his own darkness.

Something in Killua’s mien seemed to relax as Gon let out a sigh and walked over to him, kneeling in front of him with his trove of supplies. He didn’t feel like he could muster the energy to calm Gon down now and was glad he didn’t have to.

One large tan hand cupped the back of his calf, just above where the bruising ended and lifted it slightly to give him better access to his ravaged feet. Killua closed his eyes nervous to see Gon’s reaction to the exposed flesh on the soles of his feet. He grimaced a bit when the fingers gripping his calf tightened. He cracked an eye open. Gon’s face was eerily blank in a way that reminded Killua suddenly of Illumi.

Illumi.

The needle!

Something like blinding panic cut through his chest like a knife. How could he have forgotten it for even a moment? Wicked claws unsheathed at his fingertips and he drove one immediately into the center of his forehead in desperation. He couldn’t stand to have anything of Illumi’s inside him for another second.

“Killua!”

Gon’s blank look was abruptly traded for shock and horror, his amber eyes wide. He reached up and grabbed Killua’s wrist yanking his claws out of his forehead. Blood immediately began pouring down his face but Gon kept his grip on Killua’s wrist despite the other boy’s bruises. He didn’t want to hurt him but didn’t understand why Killua had suddenly hurt himself and was too afraid to let go in case he tried it again.

Alluka burst into the bathroom, wild-eyed.

“What happened! What-“ She cut herself off abruptly staring at the stark red blood dripping down her big brother’s face.

Killua turned and gave her a weak smile. “It’s fine! I just had to get it out. I had to get it out. I-“ The words babbled out of him sounding panicked and disjointed before he cut himself off suddenly and took a deep breath. 

Alluka crossed the room to where he was sitting in an instant and tilted his face up to hers with a gentle hand on his chin.

“Killua. What in the world…” Her own voice was high pitched as she stared down at him totally mystified. 

“I had to get it out.” Killua repeated, his voice a bit more level this time. 

“What, Killua. What did you have to get out.” Gon asked doing a poor job at faking calm. His fingers were still gripping Killua’s wrists too tightly, Killua could feel the tremor in them.

He opened his palm to reveal a thin silver needle, painted in blood.

“Illumi put another needle in my head. I had to get it out.” Alluka and Gon stared at the needle in his hand with almost identical expressions of horror. Killua felt the brief insane urge to laugh but stifled it. They’d really think he lost it if he started laughing now.

“Another needle?” Gon asked blankly, grip on his wrists easing off slightly in deference to the bruises under his fingers. Killua gave a gentle tug, but Gon wasn’t letting go just yet.

“It’s a long story.” 

“Do you have somewhere to be?” Gon asked, tone incredulous and frustrated at Killua’s half-answers that raised more alarms than they quelled. Killua pulled weakly at his wrists again, still trapped in Gon’s hold.

“Not now Gon.” Gon puffed up a bit, readying himself for an argument. “Please?” Killua asked quietly. 

He took in his best friend’s pale exhausted face and his slouched form and his anger left him in a rush of air.

“Fine.” He acquiesced begrudgingly. 

“Thanks.” Killua said wryly, “Now can I have my hands back? I’m getting blood in my eyes.”

“And whose fault is that dummy?” Alluka interjected, wetting a towel under the bath’s faucet and wiping his face. It didn’t seem to do much good as blood continued to well up from his forehead. Killua rolled his eyes.

“Gon’s.” He insisted, ignoring the other boy’s indignant splutter at the accusation. “Just let me put some pressure on it, head wounds always bleed like a bitch even if they’re tiny.” Gon reluctantly dropped his grip on Killua’s damaged wrists but watched him raise a hand to his head suspiciously, unable to let go of the fear that Killua would try to claw himself again. When Killua just pulled the towel from Alluka and pressed it to his bloody forehead Gon let his gaze drop and went back to the task at hand.

Alluka sat next to him and grabbed Killua’s other foot. They passed the salve back and forth and bandaged as they went. Gon made sure to wrap tightly around Killua’s ankles to help with support and stopped the bandages mid-calf. 

When they were done Killua stuck both of his feet out to look at their work and huffed, amused. “Wow. You can really tell which side Alluka did and which side Gon did.” He teased, the bandages on Alluka’s side neat and even whereas Gon’s had odd bulges where he’d over wrapped. 

Gon pouted at him and Alluka giggled. She grabbed the roll of bandages from Gon’s hand and moved to sit up on the edge of the tub next to Killua.

“In that case I’ll do your head so you don’t end up looking like a mummy.” She gently removed the towel, wiping the blood away one last time before starting to wrap. She layered it tightly to try and stem any residual blood-flow. When she was done she kissed his cheek and stood up stretching.

“Bedtime?” She asked through a yawn, the adrenaline from Gon’s yell earlier had faded and somehow left her even more exhausted than before. She felt as if she could sleep for days. 

Gon helped Killua dress ignoring his protests that he could do it himself, much to the other’s consternation, before scooping him up and following Alluka to the bed.

“I hope you don’t think I’m going to let you carry me everywhere until my ankles heal.” Killua bitched trying to fight the pull of gravity on his eyelids. 

“I hope you don’t think I’m going to let you walk on broken ankles.” Gon retorted lightly. 

Killua’s answering glare was completely ruined when he yawned. “We’ll argue about this in the morning.”

“It’s a date.” Gon said cheekily unable to resist planting a kiss on Killua soft mouth, letting just the barest hint of tongue run along his bottom lip. 

Alluka, not as passed out as either boy had thought, giggled from the bed.

“Called it.” She said in a quiet sing-song voice, raising an eyebrow at the two of them. Gon grinned at her, moving over to the bed and dropping Killua next to her before crawling in behind him. 

“Actually, I kissed him first, so you didn’t.” It was impossible for Alluka to see the blush on her brother’s cheeks in the darkness of the room, but she could picture it perfectly from his bratty tone. 

She gasped loudly in exaggerated surprise. “Good for you, you trollop.” 

Gon laughed into Killua’s hair squeezing him as tightly as he could without upsetting the other boy’s ribs. Killua elbowed him and his pride was soothed slightly as Gon coughed at the blow. He repositioned himself behind Killua scooting closer so his knees slotted behind the smaller boy’s, his chest pushed up against his back. Killua thought vaguely about protesting being little spooned while in the same bed as his sister, but couldn’t find the energy left to be embarrassed anymore, especially when he was warm and comfortable for the first time in what felt like forever.

He fell asleep quickly, safely between the two people he loved most in the world, too warm and content for even nightmares to intrude on his dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the last installment! It was like zero plot and all comfort, but I feel like they needed it. lol Drop me a comment :)


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